Slightly sensitive question related to the going car free thread

[Dragonwight]

That's a little deceitful & really isn't the way to build a relationship.

She only goes out with you as you have a car & you only keep the car to get a girl - who only goes out with you as you have a car

Nope its nots not deceitful and its exactly the way to build a relationship one that lasts and I never suggested making any pretence. All i suggested is that they should get to know one another before you go making decisions that may or may not put off the other potential party.

 

[400bhp]

I got married at age 27. I've never owned or driven a car. I should think progressive-thinking people will prefer those who don't own a 3-ton money pit that costs thousands of pounds a year to maintain, drains our natural resources, despoils the environment and whose use tends to encourage obesity, heart disease and other sedentary illnesses.

Many don't like narrow minded pontificators too.

 

[Arch]

As a non car owner myself, I'd not be bothered about whether a guy had a car*. I'm interested in the man, not his possessions.

Of course, I'm in my 40's and am not too bothered about having lots of money or stuff. A young girl, or a more consumerist woman may have different priorities. Depends, I guess, on the sort of lady the OP is likely to be happy with.

*Night Train does have a car, which has proved useful in our long distance relationship. He drives over to mine, but I get the train when I come to his place. If we had to live without it (as at the moment because he can't drive with a ruptured Achilles Tendon), we would.

 

[Night Train]

I suppose it depends a great deal on the sort of person you would want to date and develop a life with.
There is nothing wrong with attending a date on public transport if you may be enjoying wine with your meal.
If you needed a car for the date, you could always hire one.

I have done a fair bit of dating in my time, all with a car, and the sort of women I dated varied from those who didn't drive and were not bothered about a car to those who cancelled the date when they found I would be picking them up in a Skoda.

I would say that probably someone who is concerned about, or judges you on, your lack of car may not be someone you would want to spend a lifetime with.

 

[Arch]

Normally I don't give a toss about things like status symbols or materialism but in this case, whether or not you find someone to settle down with could significantly impact the rest of your life, so it is worthwhile knowing if not having a car could impact ones "chances".

Personally, I'd say that settling down with someone who wouldn't want you simply because you were car free would significantly impact the rest of your life.

Remember the vows - richer, poorer, sickness and in health. Suppose you lost your job and couldn't afford to run a car. Suppose you developed a disability or illness that stopped you driving? If a woman cared so much about a car, would she stick with you through things like that?

 

[compo]

Before meeting the lovely lady I married a couple of years ago I had several years meeting ladies via various online dating sites. For much of the time I had no car as I rode a motorbike. It made no difference not having a car. This is in reference to older women, I cannot speak for young women, it is a good few years since I had anything to do with them, romantically.

Not being very well off did make a difference.

 

[MrJamie]

It shouldnt matter, but first impressions and all that. Not being able to pick up a girl in the car to take her out is going to be a negative and id imagine a lot of non-cyclists wouldnt understand.

 

[srw]

Horsham is hardly the arse end of nowhere - just call a cab.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Horsham is hardly the arse end of nowhere - just call a cab.

This.

 

[Red Light]

Its curious. Most people in London would not think about going out by car taking the Tube, train, bus or cab instead irrespective of social status. Outside of London that seems to be regarded as something of a problem.

 

[I like Skol]

Personally, I'd say that settling down with someone who wouldn't want you simply because you were car free would significantly impact the rest of your life.

Remember the vows - richer, poorer, sickness and in health. Suppose you lost your job and couldn't afford to run a car. Suppose you developed a disability or illness that stopped you driving? If a woman cared so much about a car, would she stick with you through things like that?

I'm not saying you would want to be with someone so shallow that they would ditch you in the hard times or refuse to date you purely because you don't have a car but, you are increasing your chances of 'getting a foot in the door' and spending enough time to establish if you are truely compatible. Don't make any secret of your intention to move to a car free lifestyle and your reasions for this and you are all set for a long and happy relationship.

Looking at natures examples this is not so shallow, we are hardwired to try and make that 1st impression count. How many species choose a partner based on criteria such as who has the largest crest, the loudest call, the best nest or catches the biggest kill? Is this shallow or an indication of future potential?

 

[Arch]

Looking at natures examples this is not so shallow, we are hardwired to try and make that 1st impression count. How many species choose a partner based on criteria such as who has the largest crest, the loudest call, the best nest or catches the biggest kill? Is this shallow or an indication of future potential?

I think it's more complicated than who's got the biggest crest. Owning a car, or a flash car as opposed to an 'ordinary' one doesn't indicate a good father, or even a father likely to provide financially for their kids - which is the 'natural' driver - the need to see your offspring survive, and with them, your genes. Humans long ago (IMO) stopped following basic rules of natural selection*.

Anyway, it all depends how you meet. I knew NT online for months (years?) before we ever met, so first impressions were already made. And our first few meetings didn't involve him picking me up, we met somewhere - yes he drove there, but he could easily have got the train. If he'd been living in York, it's very unlikely he'd have driven to our dates.

*Friend of mine has a theory about why shortsightedness hasn't been evolved out. She reckons that while the 20/20 vision males were off hunting, the shortsighted ones were left at camp, doing close delicate work. Along with all the women...

(assuming you subscribe to gender role stereotyping of course, but that's a different subject)

 

[Pat "5mph"]

It might affect your chances of one night stands ....

From memories of times long past, I seem to recall that one night stands need a bit of alcohol induced haziness so you should't be driving anyway!

 

[Nihal]

Give him a break,you evil people.The guy never said
"Slightly sensitive question related to the going car free and its adverse affects on one nights stands"

<Slowly slinks away from the thread>

 

[Pat "5mph"]

I dated somebody unsuitable a few years ago. When I ditched him, curiously all my male friends told me I was silly, because he was driving a Jaguar.
My female friends, on the other hand, completely understood.