Take a Real Headline and Add Your Own Byline

[Drago]

Police officer draws gun during pursuit of 'dangerous vehicle'
Colleagues are impressed with his artistic skills, but wish he'd concentrate on catching villains.

 

[Drago]

Thousands of HGV drivers given bogus medical tests in the back of van.​

DVLA express susrprise that Dr Quentin Reacharound was not a bona fide medical professional.

 

[DRM]

U.K's Top Data & A.I Regulator Quits After "Inappropriate Humour"
I only put a couple of posts in Cycle Chat's "Worlds Worst Dad Jokes" Thread complains boss

 

[Drago]

The ‘silent killer’: what you need to know about heatwaves​

They're hot and they can kill.

 

[Drago]

The one change that worked: I saw a woman lift 100kg and decided: ‘I want to do that!’​

Accy thanks woman for recovering his dropped wallet.

 

[DRM]

Rare Red Extreme Heat Warning Issued As Temperatures Could Rise To 40c
I'm fully prepared with my new Vintage Linen Suit with Complimentary Straw boater & matching loafers, says famous Accrington Dandy

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The UK government has an almighty allostatic load

300 foot fatberg discovered in Downing street

 

[Drago]

Why humidity levels could make the 40C heatwave feel even hotter
Accrington style guru advises flannels and a cricket sweater to be ideal accessories for the warm spell.

 

[DRM]

In Britains Brexit Capital People Remain "Grumpy" 10 Years On
No one told me it would be this hard to visit Benidorm for several pints of Carlsberg, or get Fish & Chips whilst wandering round in an England shirt, says disgruntled shaven headed man

 

[Drago]

Peter Murrell to be sentenced for embezzling SNP funds
Disgraced treasurer seen mopping brow with a £50 note.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Travel chaos as heatwave grips Britain

Man in car has a meltdown, after he is delayed 30 seconds at pedestrian crossing.

 

[Drago]

Around 29,000 lightning strikes light up sky across southern England
Accrington's famous style guru advises those affected wear a trilby.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Around 29,000 lightning strikes light up sky across southern England
Accrington's famous style guru advises those affected wear a trilby.

A pith helmet surely!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

World Cup hydration break cancelled after FIFA forced to take drastic action

Scottish fans drink town dry, leaving no beer for the players.

 

[Drago]

Heatwave latest: London is 'cooking' and world closer to 'catastrophe', UN warns
Londoners don't care what Uncle Norman says, the doddery old duffer talks drivel all day long.