Tea? (Part 1)

[LordoftheTeapot]

May I enquire about partaking of Tea?

* rings bell for Arnold *

You rang my-lady?

Sorry it took so long... I was in the west wing of the castle

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

 

[Arch]

Gladly, dear boy!

The Landslides shall spend July the 5th audaxing their way around North Shropshire! My dearest beloved found Miss Arch's excursion to Pocklington most invigorating, and required little in the way of entreaties to increase the mileage and the vertiginousness. Tally-ho!

I say, that is most gratifying. Pray, pass on my most humble best wishes. If it becomes too strenuous, I suggest the loosening of corsets. And your dearest beloved may wish to do the same.

I sit here, for a change, fully attired for athletic endeavour on my velocipede. This evening we are due our fortnightly gathering of yarn-based artisans, at Seaton Ross, and I have elected to travel out under my own steam, instead of being conveyed in one of the new fangled automobiles. A mere 16 miles each way.

Is there any tea to fortify my soul before departure?

 

[Amanda P]

Of course, it is only in these most enlightened of modern times that the performance of such a feat (whether fortified by Tea or unfortified) by a person of the feminine persuasion could be countenanced. [Bit of a strain, this talking posh, innit?] Although of course I seem to recall that ladies taking to bicycles, becoming thus able to travel independently, and adopting less restrictive costume to do so, has been hailed as the beginning of what has since become known (perhaps regrettably) as "women's lib".

However, please partake of tea, Miss Arch, and we trust you will enjoy the athletic endeavour.

Do take care lest those new-fangled horseless carriage things should dissarray your unmentionables.

 

[Speicher]

I beseech you to bear in mind, when perambulating in a new-fangled motoring car, that you retain the Servant walking in front of aforesaid vehicle.

I am cognisant of the fact that the walking pace of the Person with Red Flag, may perchance regulate the forward direction of the vehicle. It remains obvious that with the voluminous traffic today, that in fact this is no hinderance to the speed achievable by motorised traffic.

You may find therefore, that you achieve a similar velocity on your penny farthing.

 

[Arch]

Do take care lest those new-fangled horseless carriage things should dissarray your unmentionables.

I will indeed. I have three separate lighting devices, front and rear, so all should be well as long as the candles don't blow out. And my topmost attire is of a most vivid hue.

I believe the main objection to the use of velocipedes in medical quarters was that it might "damage the organs of matrimonial necessity" (Honest, that's not me, that's actually a quote). As I am unmarried, and now officially an aged spinster, perhaps they are of less necessity anyway. Still, I prefer them undamaged, if only to avoid the chafing. To this end, my unmentionables are padded.

 

[Amanda P]

 

[Arch]

Arnold! Quick, ring for Arnold to bring the smelling salts, I think Uncle Phil is having a fit of the vapours...

 

[Amanda P]

I... I... Tea!

I fear mention of padded unmentionables may have been a step too far. It leads to speculation as to which unmentionables might be so padded... a train of thought best not persued in polite, and mixed, company. And certainly not on a Tea thread.

But enough of this rough talk. Let us return to more proper, wholesome topics.

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

Arnold! Quick, ring for Arnold to bring the smelling salts, I think Uncle Phil is having a fit of the vapours...

Arnold is unavailable, busy in the east wing.

 

[Speicher]

He was so tardy in response to my earlier request, that I had commenced to consider that he was on his annual day's holiday for this year. Really, your Teapotship, be aware of the consequences of allowing your staff too much leisure time.

Furthermore, do my eyes deceive me? How tall are the towers at your Castle, the flags seem to be occupying different levels of air currents.

 

[Arch]

But enough of this rough talk. Let us return to more proper, wholesome topics.

Indeed. Carrot Cake is, I believe, proper and wholesome. Let's talk about that.

Or at least, have a slice...

 

[Speicher]

May I take it that you know whether the carrots used in this cake are of traditional origin? I must confess to a hesitation to try those new carrots that are orange in colour.

 

[Arch]

May I take it that you know whether the carrots used in this cake are of traditional origin? I must confess to a hesitation to try those new carrots that are orange in colour.

Fearing them to be a non-conformist plot perhaps?

I'm afraid it may take some time to track down a sufficiency of non-protestant carrots. While we wait, perhaps we could settle for Popish flapjacks?

 

[tdr1nka]

I wish I'd padded my unmentionables today!
Got ready for work in a rush this morning and I did the run to Croydon & back, which ever route I take the roads ride like a bombed airfield!

Hooray for coming home to soft furnishings!

Tea anypeeps?