mustang1
Guru
- Location
- London, UK
Drivers, cast your minds back to when you passed your driving test. Here are some refreshers to use in this morning's fog.
1. You must be courteous to other road users and drive as fast as you can. You know you have the skill level to conquer that 300hp speed-machine as you grab-that-gap in the traffic that takes you past that pesky driver with a mere 250hp car (puh, peasant!).
2. Red traffic lights: look, let's get one thing clear. Red usually signals, danger, stop, caution. But not if hold a valid driving license. In that case it means just go on right ahead. Typically you can have between 5-10 seconds leeway after the lights have gone red. Yellow/amber means proceed just above the speed limit if possible otherwise slightly below is acceptable. Under no circumstances should you stop, as this will cause a massive inconvenience to other road users. BTW green lights mean the speed limit has been temporarily increased twofold. This is ensure your engine gets sufficiently warmed up thus increasing efficiency and helping with global warming.
3. Don't forget to use your phone to call your boss and tell him/her you will be slightly early for once due to your new-found assertive driving style. If you are in Sales, your boss will love your assertive style "wow what a go getter he is". If you ever feel that talking and driving is unsafe, then go ahead and send a text message as well. Ensure you have a good look at your screen before sending the message - we don't want those silly auto spelling corrections to get in the way. And ensure you send it to the right person; we don't want your boss to accidentally get the text message that was not intended for him: "my boss is a muppet".
4. Feel free to continue parking on double-yellow lines and occasionally use your I'll-just-be-two-ticks flashers aka hazzard flashers, usually because they are used when you are causing a hazzard. But don't worry yourself about that little tidbit, especially if you have parked your car completely on the footpath as opposed to half footpath and half road. The hazzard flashers are especially required during this dangerous foggy weather.
That's all for now and don't forget, your rear view mirrors are entirely optional so change lanes/direction/turn whenever and whereever you like.
1. You must be courteous to other road users and drive as fast as you can. You know you have the skill level to conquer that 300hp speed-machine as you grab-that-gap in the traffic that takes you past that pesky driver with a mere 250hp car (puh, peasant!).
2. Red traffic lights: look, let's get one thing clear. Red usually signals, danger, stop, caution. But not if hold a valid driving license. In that case it means just go on right ahead. Typically you can have between 5-10 seconds leeway after the lights have gone red. Yellow/amber means proceed just above the speed limit if possible otherwise slightly below is acceptable. Under no circumstances should you stop, as this will cause a massive inconvenience to other road users. BTW green lights mean the speed limit has been temporarily increased twofold. This is ensure your engine gets sufficiently warmed up thus increasing efficiency and helping with global warming.
3. Don't forget to use your phone to call your boss and tell him/her you will be slightly early for once due to your new-found assertive driving style. If you are in Sales, your boss will love your assertive style "wow what a go getter he is". If you ever feel that talking and driving is unsafe, then go ahead and send a text message as well. Ensure you have a good look at your screen before sending the message - we don't want those silly auto spelling corrections to get in the way. And ensure you send it to the right person; we don't want your boss to accidentally get the text message that was not intended for him: "my boss is a muppet".
4. Feel free to continue parking on double-yellow lines and occasionally use your I'll-just-be-two-ticks flashers aka hazzard flashers, usually because they are used when you are causing a hazzard. But don't worry yourself about that little tidbit, especially if you have parked your car completely on the footpath as opposed to half footpath and half road. The hazzard flashers are especially required during this dangerous foggy weather.
That's all for now and don't forget, your rear view mirrors are entirely optional so change lanes/direction/turn whenever and whereever you like.