The Official Lanterne Rouge Thread 2025 [spoilers]
- Thread starter Lanterne Rogue
- Start date
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Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
The scope for gaining time by finishing between the grupetto and the cutoff may be limited, as they tend to cut it fine. It will be a bold rider who makes a last minute attack off the back on the Col de la Loze.
OP
OP
Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
It's fine line between the Col de Loze and a Cull of Losers, is what you're saying?
OP
OP
Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
It was stage 17, you know what I mean, and the way it looked was way beyond compare. Yup, it's time once again to singalong with the Beat-ups, who saw her standing there and appreciated the notion. They wouldn't dance with another (ooh), but mostly because after more than two weeks of this nonsense they're probably not inclined to any physical activity.
Today's stage was mostly neutralised, particularly as many of the sprint trains were expected to work, and hopes of sneaking a few extra seconds at the end were demolished - along with more than a few bike frames - by a major crash with a kilometre to go after things got a bit feisty. Gentlemen! There's no sprinting in the spirit zone!
Big winner was the man who surely has an XXXXL shirt with his name on it, van Sintmaartensdijk, who somehow engineered a five minute gain on LR. Superb work. The big loser, meanwhile, is Red Bull rider Mick van Dijke, who by my reckoning has now suffered 65 hours of people cycling past him whilst singing "chim-chimernee...". I mean, you just would, wouldn't you?
Today's stage was mostly neutralised, particularly as many of the sprint trains were expected to work, and hopes of sneaking a few extra seconds at the end were demolished - along with more than a few bike frames - by a major crash with a kilometre to go after things got a bit feisty. Gentlemen! There's no sprinting in the spirit zone!
Big winner was the man who surely has an XXXXL shirt with his name on it, van Sintmaartensdijk, who somehow engineered a five minute gain on LR. Superb work. The big loser, meanwhile, is Red Bull rider Mick van Dijke, who by my reckoning has now suffered 65 hours of people cycling past him whilst singing "chim-chimernee...". I mean, you just would, wouldn't you?
Pinno718
Über Member
- Location
- Way out West
No Ta Doctor
Über Member
To those of you who spent yesterday watching pre-season friendlies in a pub and only caught the last 10km of the race with the sound off, I love you all, no I really mean it, you're the besht...hic....Whosh round ish it?
Bottomish of the pint glass, according to the publicly accessible site this is screenshotted from:
Bottom of the barrel
Hold on, is that Geraint's brother Ben making a first appearance?
Obviously not a fan of early 20th Century Geman design schools.
Bottomish of the pint glass, according to the publicly accessible site this is screenshotted from:
Bottom of the barrel
Hold on, is that Geraint's brother Ben making a first appearance?
Obviously not a fan of early 20th Century Geman design schools.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Looks like Intermarché made a tactical decision yesterday to strengthen their position in the team competition. Mind you, they have a lead of nearly an hour over Lotto
No Ta Doctor
Über Member
The question, though: is the Lanterne for Teams the bottom of the official teams classification (which is the top three times for each team on each stage), or an otherwise unpublished classification of the bottom three times for each team on each stage? I'd argue that it should be the latter, and that @Dogtrousers should be in charge of managing and publishing it. I look forward to seeing the standings!
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
I feel a spreadsheet coming on. Maybe even a bit of screen scraping code. It may be ready for TdF 2029
No Ta Doctor
Über Member
That's the way it should be done. Better than asking ChatGPT to do it for you, which would be quicker but probably reveal that Team Whiskas - Super Goodyear was bottom, thanks to the efforts of Maurice Garin, Bjarne Riis-Sørensen and Popeye the Sailor. Than you very much, that'll be 500 acres of rainforest.
Pinno718
Über Member
- Location
- Way out West
I see a pattern here: No Ta Doc has been handed a baton involuntarily and now Dog trousers has been cornered... Who will Lanterne Rogue coerce next and for what role?!
DeadCalm
Active Member
- Location
- The Land of Smiles
Are you sure you want to be raising your head above the parapet like this?
No Ta Doctor
Über Member
Ah, @DeadCalm, soon to be curator of the White Jersey Lanterne, for least promising young prospects.
Pinno718
Über Member
- Location
- Way out West
Ah, @DeadCalm, soon to be curator of the White Jersey Lanterne, for least promising young prospects.
Well that quickly back fired on him
Pinno718
Über Member
- Location
- Way out West
Barre notches up 3 assaults on the Tarmac no less and he's in prime spot to mount a challenge.
Who said there was no merit in these gravity based tactics?
Who said there was no merit in these gravity based tactics?
