the recovery

[byegad]

Nice self portrait Nick.

 

[markg0vbr]

I am not going to put minglstruni soup down my trousers, it is silly and might leak......

Mole skin trousers are not made from moles odd that. I could just start calling my slacks elephant skin trousers!

I have to take my turn at winding the elastic band on the aeroplane we all have to do 10 hrs of winding so next week we don't run out of twang mid Atlantic..... Gosh I hope we don't hit an iceberg, havering a sun bronzed Greek god like hunk on the flight is almost shouting at the universe "look hunky hero type on this airplane he needs a peril to be heroic n like save every one".

Packing has commenced I am taking a brand new still in the wrapper best monogrammed hanky to knot and put on t head, desert dockers with extra thick wool socks deserts can get cold at night, a string vest this allows the body to breath, tea bags, I will melt some lard and fill one of my crutches up with it so if we land on an iceberg I can live of that and not have to start chewing on the dead people.

In a potential survival situation one has to plan ahead.

Should I take some bog roll? And tins of haggis? How should one address the locals "I say colonial minion, chap do pick up my bag" how can you tel the lumpy jumpers from the non lumpy jumpers if they don't have jumpers on?

 

[n-ick]

Certain parts of the world still practice cannibalism, perhaps tha' should halve the cost of a trip with a one way ticket and an invitation for dinner.

 

[byegad]

I am not going to put minglstruni soup down my trousers, it is silly and might leak......

Mole skin trousers are not made from moles odd that. I could just start calling my slacks elephant skin trousers!*

I have to take my turn at winding the elastic band on the aeroplane we all have to do 10 hrs of winding so next week we don't run out of twang mid Atlantic..... Gosh I hope we don't hit an iceberg, havering a sun bronzed Greek god like hunk on the flight is almost shouting at the universe "look hunky hero type on this airplane he needs a peril to be heroic n like save every one".

Packing has commenced I am taking a brand new still in the wrapper best monogrammed hanky to knot and put on t head, desert dockers with extra thick wool socks deserts can get cold at night, a string vest this allows the body to breath, tea bags, I will melt some lard and fill one of my crutches up with it so if we land on an iceberg I can live of that and not have to start chewing on the dead people.

In a potential survival situation one has to plan ahead.

Should I take some bog roll? And tins of haggis? How should one address the locals "I say colonial minion, chap do pick up my bag" how can you tel the lumpy jumpers from the non lumpy jumpers if they don't have jumpers on?

* I heard that last time you called your trousers they came running.

 

[markg0vbr]

You know 4am is the perfect time to catch up on your list!

Every one has one who they think should be first against the wall come the revolution.
It could be starting soon there running around with machetes chopping bit off people down the road, or they are practising for when the zombies are walking about.

God I love drugs...

 

[byegad]

You know 4am is the perfect time to catch up on your list!

Every one has one who they think should be first against the wall come the revolution.
It could be starting soon there running around with machetes chopping bit off people down the road, or they are practising for when the zombies are walking about.

God I love drugs...

Yes but she died. (#Ding dong the witch is dead#) So now, in a purely democratic 'all in it together' spirit, I have a round robin of people who should be put against the wall come the revolution.

 

[markg0vbr]

The communist manifesto on lebrevox (talking books) I highly recommend this while hobbling about the house at 4 "yes there are two 4 o'clocks ".

Gosh cold damp and according to the quacks imaginary mettle bits moving about in your bones.
I went and woke up one of the lads to run down and get some of them lovely drugs, misery loves company! He was sort of walking awake / zombie mode but the remote control voice commands worked, I got my drugs. He can't remember getting up....

Now I wonder if I wake him up again tomorrow I might be able to get him to clean out the gutters or paint the back bedroom when he is in this walking dead state. Could this be classed as child cruelty?

 

[n-ick]

Yes.
Don't go eating choccy s either.

 

[markg0vbr]

It is good for him, stops him getting bored, keeps him fit and is above all cheep. If I just feed him a week porridge and a can of spam now and again I could take on contracts for night work.

I could do a line in subliminal training tapes so every one could have remote control over there kids, cups of tea on demand, no nagging to clean there room, long foot pedicures, instead of the brutal attack with nail clippers grudgingly performed to pining sounds of shrapnel hitting the lamp shade.

I am fretting a bit, I have stocked the freezer and fridge there are plenty of tins and bags of dog food* how much money should I leave them?

*cheaper than tinned pie filling and they have never complained

 

[n-ick]

Beyond imagination.
My dog has no nose.

 

[Speicher]

I have read elseswear on this forum, that Lordly Byegad is packing a sooty case for his jollidays. Are Mark and his Lordshipment going on Jollidays together, sez I wonderingly?

If I quickly pack a sooty case, can I join them?

I belong to the lumpy jumper variety, but I am able to package a small suitcase. Six trousies, and tops etc, but just two pairs of shoeses, nor do I need to take half the contents of the local Bootsies clock food supply.

 

[byegad]

Well I can state categorically that the chances of my travelling with the SBGG to any destination except the one that re-admits him to the secure wing of the horse spit al. They have, however, stated that after last time they'll only do this if he promises to keep his trousers on. OR of course if a court so orders it.

Meanwhile I'm back from a very enjoyable break in Wooler YH with a bunch of great people at Bike Right. So my future travel plans are on hold pending the resolution of the 'Where shall we go next year' great debate. Lady Byegad has a fancy for somewhere in the UK, which narrows it down a bit.

 

[markg0vbr]

Skegness....

Bygad in a damp caravan in Skegness surrounded by thousands of kids all hoped up on sugar all with new foot balls. Coming back from the tots disco at 2am with mam and dad shouting the random laughing of the lumpy jumpers that sound like a square egg laying hen impersonator in full cry.

Is not the place but the "lovely" booze sodden :;/£/&:'%#*€$¥%*~€ bags that frequent the place.

That was a payed advertisement brought to you by the Skegness tourist board.

Now back to the normal programming.

Your all welcome on my trip, apparently I have a room that should sleep 6 so proper cycling types we should get 43 in 47 if bygad int coming ( as he never goes anywhere without his flunkies ) the problem is getting every one in the luggage.
If every one went on a crash diet and the odd superfluous limb was hacked of I would be able to squeeze a head in my case* so I have come up with a cunning plan........ A virtual holiday.
Ok I have three helmet cams secreted about my self and live feed it through the tinternet you lot sit under a sun lamp with a long cold drink, watching through three d glasses or put three Tvs around you. No messing about in airports quest unable bed sheets foreigners and the food.
A small charge my be levied to cover bandwidth costs expenses ect....

*i know this for a fact, the zipper marks on my lads neck will disappear over time but the viral video will go on for ever.

 

[n-ick]

I volunteer not to come .

 

[byegad]

Get in the queue young Nick! I was first not to go!

A long list of those not going can be obtained, price £50,000 from the Census Office, Cromwell Road, London. Postage for this weighty document makes up £49,920 of the charge. It is after all a list of almost everyone in the UK.