the recovery

[byegad]

Meanwhile I'm glad to announce the formal re-opening of the Yorkshire Embassy to the frozen North. All are welcome if they know which road signs to follow and which to ignore, one of the latter takes the unwary over a fair sized cliff for instance. The minefields are working well and Igor has a plentiful thupply of thpare parths. The Embassy motto* has been painted on the study wall and anyone who needs help will get it. So long as it cost nowt!

To put the top hat on my day I got my Kettwiesel 'Tirpitz'** back today following new wheels being fitted after one hub flange fell apart***.

*Eat all, sup all, pay nowt
And if ever thy does owt fer nowt
Always do it fer th'sen.

** So called because it's big Grey and German.

*** I don't know you buy something, hammer the hell out of it for 8 years and it needs repairing! Jerry building at its best.

Finally anyone passing the embassy and wanting a coffee please drop in.










To the cafe in the village I understand they do excellent cake too!

 

[Scoosh]

Does one have a suitable pad for landing one's helichoppter ? Otherwise, how can we normal, decent folk get to the Embassy without having to see or even [shudder ] be seen by the common peoples ?

 

[classic33]

Does one have a suitable pad for landing one's helichoppter ? Otherwise, how can we normal, decent folk get to the Embassy without having to see or even [shudder ] be seen by the common peoples ?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVmjKHkgxis

 

[byegad]

Well the last helicopterist who 'dropped in' died horribly when Igor, that's not Igor the Butler, or indeed, Igor the cook, nor Igor the groundsman, 'tested' his new Anti Tory guided hitile. He has socialist genes, at least from parts of his body, and implicitly believes that if you can afford an helicopter then you must be a class enemy.

Said hitile did indeed hit and the plutocrat in the helicopter is in several of Igor's (I''ll not go through which Igor!) freezers in case he need a hand, or foot or a third opposable thumb* on his right hand.

Igor tells me he looks forward to the next helicopter attempting to land. However so far no pilot has attempted to land on the big E he has painted on the rear courtyard. I haven't the heart** to tell him that Helicopter starts with an H!

*Igor felt that as one opposable thumb made us different from the animals so two on each hand would be twice as good! Apart from coming in useful when the pickles jar needs opening I can see no benefit.

** Igor has several of these in the above mentioned freezers.

 

[byegad]

Still no word from the SBGG! May we hope he's fallen foul of some for'n potatoen8 and been incarcerated*?


*Igor** says it'th a pity they didn't think of that before he had offthpring!


** No I'm not saying which Igor. Work it out for yourthelf, sorry self!

 

[Speicher]

That is a very pithy remark!

 

[byegad]

Yeth! It's pithy too.

 

[byegad]

We held an embassy reception over the weekend. The Igorinas looked 'interesting' in their frilly maids outfits and not a Ferrero Rocher was in sight. Late at night the usual bun fight started in the great hall and one of the Igor's one with one example that has three cheeks! Meanwhile some of guests managed to sleep* in more than one bed and after midnight the upstairs landings had more traffic than the M25 on a fine Bank Holiday Weekend.

The Earl of Rawmarsh entertained us all with tales of the SBGG's pathetic life and did his best to scotch the rumours that the SBGG is in fact one of his blowbacks. However so hard did he try that his coachman had to rescue him from a third floor window when the rest of the guests decided to show their 'appreciation' of his contribution in infesting the civilised world and parts of Lancashire with the SBGG.

I hope you all got your invitations posted yesterday, too late for you to come, and Royal Fail didn't charge you too much as it seems Smithers the under-butler** 'forgot' to place stamps on the envelopes.

* 'Sleep' in this context implies using the various beds in more than one bedroom for a variety of purposes, not necessarily involving resting.

** Another tale of using beds for a variety of activities, but what he and the butler get up to in their free time*** is their business.

*** Contrary to popular belief among readers we are equal opportunity employers and give every member of staff the chance of a day off every week. If they win the (fixed) lottery. Coincidently Lady Byegad's shapely new maid has won the last 16 draws, and her without a pair to her name.

 

[byegad]

Just a reminder to vote out as the SBGG is still abroad.

Naturally should he return to the UK before close of polls on the 23rd we're voting stay so we can send him back to for'n parts.

Either way vote early, vote often.

 

[byegad]

Still no sign of the SBGG.

I'm going back wearing a false beard to vote again!

 

[byegad]

So is Lady Byegad!

 

[Speicher]

I asked one of my puddycats for their opinion on Brexit. He decided on "out".

Then a hour later he decided he would prefer "in". After a long sleep, he changed his mind again in favour of "out".

 

[byegad]

Yes but now he's decided out he'll vote then not leave!

 

[Speicher]

I expect one party may win by a whisker.

 

[byegad]

I suggest we take a paws.