the recovery

[byegad]

Get some signs made. I've a few suggestions.
1. This door should be left closed at all times. (Attach this to any wall, preferably near the boss's office.)
2. Stationary will only be given out on Mondays between 8.00am and 7.59am.
3. Please do not read this Notice.
4. Unaccompanied adults should not be left in this corridor.

 

[byegad]

Forgot to ask.

Can you let me have 3 million paper clips for Mrs Byegad's paperless office?

 

[markg0vbr]

Forgot to ask.

Can you let me have 3 million paper clips for Mrs Byegad's paperless office?

we went paperless office five years ago, you now see people carrying box folders around with them with all the bit of paper in them that they do not use and have not printed off because every thing is now scand in to the computer at the post room, the original is then filed in the warm storage, in a building across town where it may move in to cold file or hot depending on certain criteria. if you need it immediately it will be lost, found, lost in transit then some one will put it on a desk in your section, where it will be picked up and put in the central admi pile as we are now operating a hot desk/ clean desk policy so if you leave your desk for more than 45 mins it will be cleard .

every one now prints off there bum covering e mails as the network keeps running out of room and every ones archive limit keeps going down. i think we are now using more paper that we are a paperless office than before!

as there are no fixed work stations now you see people wondering around like new York bag lady's with small suitcases on wheels. i think some people just swipe there entry card then wonder around all day for the exorcise and company then do there work at home when they have clocked off.

as SBGG-G specialist in deadering i will be going with the long black leather coat idiom, the limp and silver handled cane will enhance the effect. i am auditioning derisive laughs, chuckles and sneers, in the manic dictator catalogue. but i must admit to being smitten by the mad scientist bumper starter kit .

i did the short hilly ride again tonight in the fog and mist, coming up the back lane which is a long steep climb with the owls hooting in the wood was fantastic, i did practice my evil laugh on a cow looking over a gate, it did not look very impressed so it might need working on.

 

[markg0vbr]

gosh it was foggy last night for my hill ride, this made me think of the old hammer house of horror films Dracula, Dracula the return "second bite" ect. what about the hole evening dress red silk lined cape thing i have some wery wibrant vaist Coates i dont eat pork but i love garlic and there vill be buxom damsels not manning the phones.
the ewil laugh is coming on, vell it makes the dog nerwes.

 

[byegad]

Vot are you talking about? Count Alucard is dead and gorn! The local peasantry ate him alive after the incident with the seven virgins ladies of uncertain virtue.

 

[markg0vbr]

aaaaaaaaaarrrgg aaaaaaaaarrrrrgggg fliping AAAAAaaaarg one p!lock shouting out of a car window, i did tell him exactly what i thought of him as he was stuck in traffic at the end of the road. the one revving his engine 2"of my back wheel also got full venting of my spleen as i pulled up in the middle of the road in-front of him for best effect.

why cant i have a big red button "click boom" car in bits.

 

[byegad]

Cool down old chap! I still think the manic waving, that goes on far too long, and silly grin is the best response to a shouter. I pulled up alongside one last week and said; 'Oh! You're not Jack! He has a car just like this and when you shouted hello* I was sure you were him.' I thought he was going to die of embarrassment as he mumbled an inaudible reply.

* He definitely hadn't shouted hello, more like Whahhhhh!

 

[Speicher]

What about "Oh you're not my grandfather (or grandmother in the case of non boy ). He/she has a car just like this".

 

[markg0vbr]

OOOOOOOMMMMMMM soggy mattress OOOOOOOOmmmmmm soggy mattress oooooommmm soggy mattress, i think it is working.
i am now one with the universe, i will do a bit of breathing into a air bed, i like the way it makes me dizzy like being drunk without the hang over.

FREE Adult and Family Cycle Training for RMBC Employees.

All Rotherham Council Employees and their families are now eligible for a FREE one or two hour cycle training session with the council’s cycle training provider Pedal Ready.

With the move of many town centre staff to Riverside House now is a good time to try cycling to work, or just for leisure and benefit from improved health and fitness levels. Also save money, especially with the rising cost of fuel, and do your bit for the environment.

The FREE cycle training sessions can be held for anyone- from beginners to experienced cyclists, on a one to one basis, in groups or with your family, and at a time and place to suit you.

Pedal Ready will give hints and tips on riding on the road along the routes you want to ride, to improve confidence and skills.

If you don’t have a bike RMBC have a limited number of bikes you can borrow. There’s even an opportunity to test ride the very latest electric bikes!

Free cycle training places are limited so for further information and to book a training session contact Pedal Ready:

this should be fun

i like the bit about electric bikes, some of the regular cyclists are trying to get a buddy system for the newbs so they can rid with some one to work how is confident in't trufic happy with the cut n thrust of today's extreme commuting.

OOOOOOOmmmmm soggy mattress oooooommmm soggy mattress.

 

[byegad]

Soggy Mattress? Not te old trouble back, again!

 

[markg0vbr]

its chanting tha knows like them foreign types do int' monastery's an spin old logs around with stuff carved on em. one with the cosmos and all that.

tomorrow is the anniversary of my becoming a borg.* i will be making a pilgrimage to the sight of my down fall to light a candle and make ritual offerings of a vegetarian sausage sandwich and a glass of cranberry juice.
over the year i have faced some challenges, huge bowls of lumpy porridge, challenging job changes, learning the finer points of walking like a Igor, slight discomfort/ pain** and thousands of miles on the trike to get fit again. the cold weather recently has put a bit of a strain on this but i am hopeing to get the mileage back up again soon.


*i like chocolate and g&t or single malt, hint hint i promise to act surprised if there is a party see i am good at acting.
**as you know I don't like to talk about it but, i could give you a list, if requested in writing with a self addressed stamped envelope is provided.

 

[byegad]

Anyone hear something? Everything's gone quiet. Maybe it's the Yorkshire selective deafness gene cutting in because someone wants some thing for nothing.

 

[Speicher]

Chocolate and single malt together in a glass? Is that with ice?

I think I would need to try that combination before packaging some to send north by northnorthwestwards. It would need to be a very speedy delivery in order to arrive before the ice melted.

 

[byegad]

Don't use Royal Mail unless you want it to arrive fully frozen solid because it will arrive with the next Ice Age.

 

[markg0vbr]

coincidently it is my ikle lads birthday as well, i was a wear he had been whitering on about some thing.
the single malt is for a trifle i am making the chocolate is to be grated on top, it is to a recipe handed down to me by my gran. there is a ritualistic curse one must recite over the finished trifle before serving it is quite long but boils down to "i will not use the single malt for trifle as that is what sherry was invented for". i think my grand dad jotted it down at some time.