Mo1959
Legendary Member
- Location
- Perthshire,Scotland
Hope not. I couldn’t cope with more lock downs or vaccinations!
The Retirement Thread
- Thread starter Dirk
- Start date
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Hope not. I couldn’t cope with more lock downs or vaccinations!
pawl
Legendary Member
- Location
- Desford Leicestershire
Hidradeniitis Try saying that even if you haven’t imbibed to much of the Scottish nectar
classic33
Leg End Member
Sounds like some sort of plant in the garden.
D
Deleted member 1258
Guest
From my Facebook page this morning, the oldies are the best.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."
classic33
Leg End Member
They've spelt gaol wrong!
numbnuts
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gone over the hill and far away
Been a funny sort of day, haven't done much except walk to the village for some milk and eggs, I was going to go to Sainsburys but my neck is still bad I even had to take two lots of paracetamol to ease the pain and my knee is not too good either.
My flour came 20Kg, which nearly put my back out when I tried to lift it up …..God I'm getting old.
Oh and we have
again and tomorrow is going to be the same
My flour came 20Kg, which nearly put my back out when I tried to lift it up …..God I'm getting old.
Oh and we have
again and tomorrow is going to be the same
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
I have messed around and looked at a couple of videos on YouTube about S spring snap fastners that I want to use. The tinnitus in my ear seemed to be quite noticeable today. 
rustybolts
pedalling tediously
- Location
- Ireland
A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'
Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'
A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free sex this time.'
As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy,
'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really
give away free sex at all.'
Paddy replied, 'No it's genuine enough Mick.
My wife won twice last week.'
Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'
A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free sex this time.'
As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy,
'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really
give away free sex at all.'
Paddy replied, 'No it's genuine enough Mick.
My wife won twice last week.'
rustybolts
pedalling tediously
- Location
- Ireland
rustybolts
pedalling tediously
- Location
- Ireland
A couple of jokes to cheer up old folks 
Mo1959
Legendary Member
- Location
- Perthshire,Scotland
Molly has just caught and eaten a daddy long legs. 😺
numbnuts
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gone over the hill and far away
Molly has just caught and eaten a daddy long legs. 😺
Nothing goes to waste in your house
Mo1959
Legendary Member
- Location
- Perthshire,Scotland
I think I’ll catch up on Gentleman Jack now, then I’ll watch Silent Witness at 9.
