The Rules (according to CycleChat)

[Wobblers]

Also none of this pale or IPA s***e, I want a nice dark cake that I can really sit down and enjoy!

Surely you mean "none of this lager s***e? I quite like a good pint of Deuchars IPA...

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Surely you mean "none of this lager s***e? I quite like a good pint of Deuchars IPA...

I wasn't even going to mention L*ger, its so beneath my contempt!!

As for Deuchars.... well, I am a dark man really, but I had a pint of Deuchars years ago and it tasted decidedly odd (and that was me drunk). Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I had a bottle of it, and, it wasn't too bad, so maybe in about 5 years time I'll finally find out if I like it or not!

 

[tadpole]

There are only two rules, and the second one is you don't talk about the first rule.
Rule one is there are only two rules.

 

[Davidc]

Rule 10005. B.1.4 A: Any individual who starts, or even thinks about starting a Helmet Debate will be publically flogged by the nearest group of CC members.

The only way to avoid a flogging is if you were urinating on the offside leg of a Belgian at the time of writing, which will, inevetably raise even more questions than it solves, but hey, look at it this way, at least it'll make for an interesting thread!

Sorry this contradicts rule #498 c para. E, which states:

Any individual who starts, or even thinks about starting a Helmet Debate will be shot through the head while wearing said helmet (if in favour of them) or not wearing one (if against them). Posting the aforementioned thread will only be allowed, by the individual concerned, in person, after the punishment has taken place.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Sorry this contradicts rule #498 c para. E, which states:

Any individual who starts, or even thinks about starting a Helmet Debate will be shot through the head while wearing said helmet (if in favour of them) or not wearing one (if against them). Posting the aforementioned thread will only be allowed, by the individual concerned, in person, after the punishment has taken place.

I think I have a solution. Only shoot the people who have also tried to sell a Kitchen on this here Forum!

 

[benb]

Less of a rule, more of a code:

It matters not whether someone rides a road bike, a MTB, a recumbent, nor a hybrid.
They may be a POB riding a BSO, a hipster fakenger, a slob on an e-bike.
Someone may ride a BMX, or a unicycle, trike or quadricycle.
They are still cyclists, and therefore our brothers and sisters.

But having said that, cyclists are not a single homogeneous community, so we are not responsible for other cyclist's transgressions.

 

[jayonabike]

F*** the rules.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

F*** the rules.

F*** the people who say f*** the rules, yeah!!

Oh, wait....

 

[machew]

also we need a sandals policy

Sandals are only allowed if they are clip-less, the wearer has a beard and is on a recumbent

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Sandals are only allowed if they are clip-less, the wearer has a beard and is on a recumbent

.... And are wearing socks!

 

[Yellow Fang]

Rule 23: Thou shalt not pass judgement on someone else's silly fashion statement or over-expensive bicycle.
Rule 24: Thou shalt not scalp another cyclist on the way to work unless he is really slow.
Rule 25: Thou shalt not jump a red light if a friend is following.
Rule 26: Thou shalt not jump onto a kerb at a skewed angle if a friend is following.
Rule 27: Thou shalt not lead an unprepared friend up a massive hill that you know he cannot climb.

 

[Lanzecki]

Rule 5 needs to be as rule 5 from the velominati. This rule applies at all times to everything we do.

Until rule 5 in this list is corrected I feel I must ignore your rules and wherever possible break them.

Bonus points for refering to rule 5 in everyday conversations. For instance :

"I broke a nail", "Rule 5"
"I crashed my car", "rule 5"

The only exception is "I scratched my bike". And even then it has to be an Italian carbon framed and wheeled beast that needs extra weight added to keep it on the road.

 

[hopless500]

Rule 5 needs to be as rule 5 from the velominati. This rule applies at all times to everything we do.

Until rule 5 in this list is corrected I feel I must ignore your rules and wherever possible break them.

Bonus points for refering to rule 5 in everyday conversations. For instance :

"I broke a nail", "Rule 5"
"I crashed my car", "rule 5"

The only exception is "I scratched my bike". And even then it has to be an Italian carbon framed and wheeled beast that needs extra weight added to keep it on the road.

HaVe to object. Beer and cake are essential and override any previous rules

 

[TVC]

Rule 23: Thou shalt not pass judgement on someone else's silly fashion statement or over-expensive bicycle.
Rule 24: Thou shalt not scalp another cyclist on the way to work unless he is really slow.
Rule 25: Thou shalt not jump a red light if a friend is following.
Rule 26: Thou shalt not jump onto a kerb at a skewed angle if a friend is following.
Rule 27: Thou shalt not lead an unprepared friend up a massive hill that you know he cannot climb.

Is there something you want to get off your chest?

 

[Basil.B]

Rules are made to be broken.