(Edited to remove NPower logo in case I get sued for copyright!)
NPower, and not for the first time

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WTF makes them think I want to BANK with them??

No, you f@@@@rking nobbers; I want you to supply me with gas and electricity!
Several times in the past I have had to contact you regarding this. So - why do you think it is a good idea to INCREASE my direct debit by £15 per month, when all it takes is a look at my account to realise I am currently about £140 IN CREDIT?? This; when you have grossly overestimated my usage (ignoring the readings you pester me for every fecking month) and the price of energy is supposed to be coming DOWN

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You lot are the most incompetent, greedy, self serving, pi55 taking ba$$tards I have ever had the misfortune to have to deal with!
Just as soon as I cool down, I am off to U-Switch to confirm what I was going to do yesterday and save myself about £200 per year. I didn't do it yesterday, only because your useless POS website was down and I couldn't therefore do a like for like usage comparison. Well I just have; and it's goodbye and good riddance from me, you useless nobbers. GIRUY.
and breaaaathe... ahhhhhh....
Edit..... Done it. I'm off to Flow Energy. £214 saving per year on a like for like consumption.
BT - you lot are next!