Things people who don't cycle say

[Welsh wheels]

What funny things have people who aren't cyclists said to you? I had a few tonight - making me think about some of the comments I've had over the years.

1. I think your saddle's too high, you can't touch the ground with your feet
2. Looking at my low end road bike - "That's a proper professional bike you've got there, wow!"
3. That's a nice bike, I used to have a racer
4. You cycled on an A road! Don't you know that's illegal?
5. You cycled 10 miles?! You must be so fit!
6. Aren't you too far into the road? You need to ride as close as possible to the kerb so that cars have room to overtake.
7. Are you going to go into professional cycling then?
8. Your calves must be massive
9. I wish I had the motivation to cycle, but it's so much effort
10. You came here on your pushbike! Wow!
11. Why are you wearing just boxers in public? - I was wearing lycra cycling shorts at the time
12. Do you know Bradley Wiggins then?

 

[classic33]

You rode how far!

Often it's within walking distance as well.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

"I think you are awesome", but I think they would have said that to me anyway, whether I cycled or not. Which I don't.

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

"You spent HOW MUCH on your bike?"

To which I normally respond along the lines of... "Yeah, it cost about a grand, but I can maintain it for less than a tank of petrol a year and it's lasted me ten years already... and it gets me too and from work... and the pub... and for weekend cycles around Richmond Park... and to the shops... ... ... How much were your golf clubs by the way?"

 

[Saluki]

"But you are a woman"
"that's a MAN's bike"
"HOW MUCH! but you are a woman" (sorry to revisit but I get this a lot around here)
"You should have a proper wide seat or you'll hurt yourself"
"why is it muddy?" - that's the CX they are asking about, not the roadie
"Why don't you use your bell"

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

They also say more bizarre things.

I recall standing outside a newsagent on a rather cold Sunday morning, clad in lycra with my bike resting against the wall...

Young child - mum, what is that man doing?
Mother <looking at me up and down> - eating a banana

She was correct.

 

[Accy cyclist]

You ride a bike! Have you been banned from driving?

Tell you what gets me mad. When they cycle side by side.

You should pay road tax and have insurance like we have to do.

 

[slowmotion]

"It's far too dangerous in London."

 

[Racing roadkill]

Where's your bell?

Shouldn't your bike have a bell?

What have you done with your bell?

Didn't your bike come with a bell?

You know It's illegal to ride on the public roads without a bell, don't you?

When I had a racer, it had a bell, where's your bell?

Mostly answered by me, with, where's your bell? Don't lepers have to have bells?

Or, do I look like noddy?

 

[cosmicbike]

You do know it's illegal to ride 2 abreast..

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

"Don't you get wet, when it rains?" -No I ride so fast, that I pass between the raindrops

Said as convincingly as possible - and sometimes believed

 

[raleighnut]

"Bet you're cold this morning" said to me as I got to work with sweat pouring off me and steam coming off my head (it wasn't as cold as I thought it would be and I'd overlayered)

 

[threebikesmcginty]

F*ck off you twat.

 

[biggs682]

Why do you need 15 bikes ?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Aren't you a bit old to be playing on a pushbike?