things teenage girls say

[Salad Dodger]

What follows is the absolute truth.....

Wife and I were in the queue for the checkout at the supermarket.

In front of us was a woman with a boy of about 3 years old. As she was piling a whole trolley of shopping out of the trolley onto the conveyor, he was eyeing the sweets that they always put by the checkouts.

BOY "Mum, can I have some sweets?"

No answer.....

BOY "Mum can I have some sweets?"

No answer....

BOY "If you don't get me some sweets I'll tell that I saw you kissing daddy's willy"

Woman grabs boy by the coat collar, and legs it straight out of the shop at full speed, leaving all her shopping behind in total disarray.

I was laughing fit to burst, my wife had this look mid way between horror and laughter on her face, and the cashier didn't know whether to laugh or cry......

 

[Norm]

Talking to someone mid-20s about a parcel contents being "HP Lovecraft" stuff, the response was "Is that like World of Warcraft"
Now, I'm not THAT old not to know what WoW is (or indeed to refer to it as WoW)

I politely stifled my laugh and said, keeping it simple that Lovecraft was a quite well known horror writer. "Oh, like Steven King? I had a Steven King phase once.." she replied

She might be closer than you realise, some of the zones and lore behind Warcraft is very much based on Cthulhu mythology. Errrmmmmm allegedly.

 

[swee'pea99]

Never in 53 years have I ever heard the name HP Lovecraft. Live and learn!

Me neither.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

No but I've heard of Dr Strangelove. Does that count?

 

[Dan B]

Never in 53 years have I ever heard the name HP Lovecraft. Live and learn!

They make computer hardware. Laptops and printers and stuff

 

[hotmetal]

Yeah, after upgrading my Mac to Snow Leopard my Photosmart eAiO printer wouldn't scan anymore.
I had to apply a little bit of HP Lovecraft there, I can tell you.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

BOY "If you don't get me some sweets I'll tell that I saw you kissing daddy's willy"
.

Du du du du du du du du du!

 

[Rezillo]

What follows is the absolute truth.....

Wife and I were in the queue for the checkout at the supermarket etc. etc.

Your surname doesn't begin with Re by any chance? - just that a work colleague some time in the mid 80s told me this precise story as true for him in the checkout at Ipswich M&S and I've recounted it many times since then.

John

 

[Toshiba Boy]

On holiday, early 1990's. My son, then aged 3, was very proud of the fact that he could go to the loo on his own.

We were standing in a queue in a small town pharmacy, quiet as a library, when son says, in his VERY LOUDEST VOICE, "When I go to the toilet, I hold my willy like my Daddy does."

 

[Col5632]

This is what dumping is really for.

Its fair to say im not with her for her brains

 

[Chromatic]

Its fair to say im not with her for her brains

Shall I say it?

Pictures!

 

[Col5632]

Shall I say it?

Pictures!

If only

 

[MisterStan]

On holiday, early 1990's. My son, then aged 3, was very proud of the fact that he could go to the loo on his own.

We were standing in a queue in a small town pharmacy, quiet as a library, when son says, in his VERY LOUDEST VOICE, "When I go to the toilet, I hold my willy like my Daddy does."

I have a 3 month old daughter and am dreading her using sentences like this!

 

[Dan B]

I have a 3 month old daughter and am dreading her using sentences like this!

I can imagine. Three months is a little young for a girl to be holding anyone's willy

 

[Bigsharn]

Do 20-somethings really not know of The Raven?

Hopefully I'm going to save our reputation (albeit for the wrong reasons)
The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror did their own take on The Raven so yes, I have heard of it personally, but I'd never heard of HP Lovecraft before reading this thread

Story of my own (albeit an older person):
I was installing a printer in my nan's computer, and as I was putting the new ink cartridges in, my nan piped up and asked "If you put them in upside down, do the pictures come out negative?".
I've never rolled on the floor from laughter since that day...