Things that go beep.

[classic33]

Like the hob if you put something on it at the side. It doesn't like that, it thinks something has boiled over, so it beeps. Beeps, beeps, farking beeps until you remove the offending item.

It did it today: Beep......beep.....beep, hello you've put the bananas on me, beep, oy, dopey, bananas. It's not the fridge, don't look at the fridge, it's a completely different beep, it's a fridge beep, not a hob beep. Beep.....beep, what's the matter with you, bananas you dimbo, move the bananas. It's not the dishwasher, stop looking at the dishwasher, it's not the microwave either, that gave up beeping hours ago. It's still got the coffee in it though. Beep.......beep......beep, it's not the washing machine, it's not Friday yet, look move the bananas, it's simple, like you! Beep.....beep, no not the coffee machine; I mean have you even made coffee, move the bananas. Actually maybe you should have a coffee, it might kick the brain cell into gear. Beep......beep, nope not the tablet, that just beeps once, I'm only thing in the kitchen that keeps beeping, I thought you'd know that by now. Beep.......beep, bananas, move the farking bananas you dozy article! Oh finally. No don't put the tea towel there.....beep........beep....

Honestly, everything beeps and sometimes you just don't know which machine it is. Why does everything beep, why does it need to beep. They should standardise the beeps so you don't have to wonder around looking for what's beeping. An ISO beep code. It drives me potty.

Any Help?
Step one is very helpful.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Now, let's not bring Australian motorists into this discussion...

 

[Headgardener]

Your beeps are nothing compared to when a fire alarm panel decides to let you know that part of the system is broke and it can only be silenced for ten minutes before off it goes again. Now that's a beep to drive you up the wall . Oh yes and the engineer can't get there until the following day.

 

[Crackle]

@Crackle, it's time you got a proper job and stopped pestering the good folk of CC with inane threads again.
We haven't had an aubergine one lately

I've in-built inaneity.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Thankfully nothing beeps in my home: smoke alarm is wired to the mains phone always charged because I'm organized microwave is normally opened before timer hits zero but one time there was a beep that left me stumped for weeks! I actually thought it was a new feature on CC, could not fathom what it meant: it was actually FB, beeping at new notifications

 

[Jenkins]

One that gets me is the beeps from the washing machine when it's finished - I can tell it's done by the lack of noise coming from the kitchen, I don't need an electronic reminder.

 

[slowmotion]

If I get something from the freezer and close the door, the wretched thing stays silent for about a minute and then starts beeping. It stays beeping for another minute if I don't press a particular button, but then goes silent anyway.

WTF is that about?

 

[Shaun]

Those whatyamacallit things in hospitals go beep don't they?

 

[coffeejo]

None of those new-fangled machines in bumpkin towers. The only thing that beeps is the microwave. Hob, fridge, freezer and other such things are mercifully beep-less. I didn't know this was something to be smug about until I read this thread.

 

[Arch]

None of those new-fangled machines in bumpkin towers. The only thing that beeps is the microwave. Hob, fridge, freezer and other such things are mercifully beep-less. I didn't know this was something to be smug about until I read this thread.

The microwave and the washing machine beep here, but none of the rest.

 

[edindave]

"Beep beep beep, oh no heavy, the coins keep coming out, beep beep beep, even the telephone hates me, beep beep beep, I wish there were no machines, and everyone led a pastoral existence, trees and flowers don't deliberately cool you out and go beep in your ear."