Things you would rather not hear

[oldwheels]

As I recline in a hospital bed a nurse approaches with a recognisable box of bits on a trolley.
“ Hello I am Sheila we need a blood sample. This is Sharon a student nurse and she has never taken blood from a patient before is it ok for her to take your sample ? “

 

[screenman]

Psssst! On a wet cold dark night. That is the bike related one.

Do you mind if the students watch when I give you a full bladder scan, trousers and pants off please. That is the medical one.

 

[Drago]

Donald Trump has taken a bump on the head and turned Democrat.

 

[Racing roadkill]

“What’s a ‘dopted’”. “Funny you should mention that”.

 

[fossyant]

As I recline in a hospital bed a nurse approaches with a recognisable box of bits on a trolley.
“ Hello I am Sheila we need a blood sample. This is Sharon a student nurse and she has never taken blood from a patient before is it ok for her to take your sample ? “

I can beat that. Went for my married mans op, expecting the main man, nope, this is Dr Smith, he is training and will do your op. Never again, wished I had run away. It went very wrong.

 

[Globalti]

As I'm lying on a couch naked from the waist down with my old fella looking like a beached whale (okay beached porpoise) waiting for a scan of my right testicle, which got squashed by an improvised tape climbing harness in a fall, the sonographer says: "Oh we've a few students who'd like to watch - hope you don't mind!" The door opens and about a dozen mostly Chinese girl students come in and stand around looking at me.

 

[gbb]

As maintenance I've cleared hideously blocked toilets, unblocked sanitary pad machines, I not scared of a bit of 'yuk'...but in those duties, the one thing that will make me run for the door is a lady using the toilets despite my presence....noooooooo

 

[sheddy]

Rap Music

 

[raleighnut]

Last Orders Pleeeeeease.

 

[tom73]

As I recline in a hospital bed a nurse approaches with a recognisable box of bits on a trolley.
“ Hello I am Sheila we need a blood sample. This is Sharon a student nurse and she has never taken blood from a patient before is it ok for her to take your sample ? “

Could be worse it could have been a catheter.
Only difference being the nurse would have been qualified 1st before learning how.

 

[numbnuts]

In hospital – as you know this is a teaching hospital would you mind the student's being present
Me - and seeing 16 kids
Student - can you take off your top top
Next student - can you remover your bottoms
Me - laying on a bed stark naked with all their eyes on my

 

[slowmotion]

As I recline in a hospital bed a nurse approaches with a recognisable box of bits on a trolley.
“ Hello I am Sheila we need a blood sample. This is Sharon a student nurse and she has never taken blood from a patient before is it ok for her to take your sample ? “

Has she found a vein yet?

 

[StuAff]

Boris Johnson Prime Minister.

 

[derrick]

It' your round.

 

[Slioch]

I'm sorry, but you'll have to give up on the cycling for a few months to give your hemorrhoids time to heal.