Things you would rather not hear

[Vapin' Joe]

From the MoT tester, "There's a bit of a problem..."

 

[Ming the Merciless]

People in the hotel room next to you having loud sex.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

"I'm Ed Sheeran, and this is off my new album."

 

[pjd57]

National anthems

 

[pjd57]

People in the hotel room next to you having loud sex.

Is that not what hotel rooms are for ?

 

[oldwheels]

“This may sting a little” ie this is going to be b——y painful.
“ You will get a warmth in your back but must stay very still” . You will feel like you have been kicked in the back by a horse and will be rigid with the shock.

 

[Oldbloke]

Coldplay

 

[Vapin' Joe]

"What time did you get in last night?"

"I've been thinking..."

 

[Drago]

Politicians promising things that will never be within their power to deliver.

 

[PeteXXX]

My young Chinese lady doctor, wearing a disposable glove slavered with KY Jelly, about to check my prostate...
"Do you require a chaperone?"

 

[Jenkins]

The alarm clock on a work day morning.

 

[netman]

Exactly how many bikes have you got now?

 

[cookiemonster]

The sound of my local tram station being trashed yet again by thugs pro-democracy campaigners.

 

[Arjimlad]

"Just a little prick"

 

[AndyRM]

U2.