Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Lullabelle]

As opposed to the snotty French waiter in Paris who crossed his arms, tapped his feet, rolled his eyes and eventually let out a deep sigh while listening to my brother-in-law's attempts to order in French ...

In the end, the waiter interrupted him and said "Monsieur - per'aps eet would be better to make zees order in Eeeengleesh?"

We were served by a snotty waiter in Barcelona, we ordered a paella and when he served it he gave me the bigger portion jumped up snotty little brat, he walked at a strange angle due the enormous chip on his shoulder

 

[Hover Fly]

As opposed to the snotty French waiter in Paris who crossed his arms, tapped his feet, rolled his eyes and eventually let out a deep sigh while listening to my brother-in-law's attempts to order in French ...

In the end, the waiter interrupted him and said "Monsieur - per'aps eet would be better to make zees order in Eeeengleesh?"

Back when I lived in France I sometimes amused myself by listening intensely to someone (usually a Donald*) murdering the French language "Jay vudray ayme..." then replying in perfect (for a Cumbrian) English, the higher up the wine snob tree the individual was the more visible was his deflation.
*Donald:- French slang for a White English speaking North American, to someone who doesn't understand spoken English they sound like Donald Duck squawking, apparently.

 

[Lullabelle]

You regularly brag about all the bottles of brand name perfumes you have, well you must go through them at an alarming rate because you bath in them and quite frankly they smell cheap and nasty.

 

[Arch]

Hey mate, you are supposed to stop at red lights. 3 sets we saw you ignore. Every time, we overtook you again shortly after. Maybe you should save up for a bike with gears and then you'd find it easier to stop and start.

I'm not bothered if you kill yourself, but at every set you'll have pissed off drivers who now won't bother to give other cyclists any space, and at one set you skimmed past a family on a pelican crossing.

Arrogant fixie tosser.

 

[ianrauk]

Hey mate, you are supposed to stop at red lights. 3 sets we saw you ignore. Every time, we overtook you again shortly after. Maybe you should save up for a bike with gears and then you'd find it easier to stop and start.

I'm not bothered if you kill yourself, but at every set you'll have pissed off drivers who now won't bother to give other cyclists any space, and at one set you skimmed past a family on a pelican crossing.

Arrogant fixie tosser.

Don't you know.. fixie riders have carte blanche to RLJ... well they do in London

 

[ianrauk]

You regularly brag about all the bottles of brand name perfumes you have, well you must go through them at an alarming rate because you bath in them and quite frankly they smell cheap and nasty.

We have a woman who visit's our office now and again. It's now a standing joke that when she does pop in we all have to don gas masks.
How much perfume does one person need ffs?

 

[Scoosh]

We have a woman who visit's our office now and again. It's now a standing joke that when she does pop in we all have to don gas masks.
How much perfume does one person need ffs?

Maybe you could (all) make the point by donning dustmasks when she comes in.

Make the point when she asks - which she will, of course - and say that you are allergic to (her) perfume and it is distracting you from doing your work. 'Elf'n'safety etc (and she ain't the elf … )

 

[swee'pea99]

We have a woman who visit's our office now and again. It's now a standing joke that when she does pop in we all have to don gas masks.
How much perfume does one person need ffs?

As a colleague of mine once said of a client with an over-familiar acquaintance with the bottle, 'Not a man to light a match close to...'

 

[Saluki]

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.
Sod off and talk about bloody football elsewhere. I don't have sky sports, I don't watch the football and if I wanted to watch gay men cuddle, snog and touch each other up, I'd go to The Castle pub.

 

[marknotgeorge]

Detailed != clear
Lots of working papers != clear
Being unable to point to a bunch of figures that show how a line in the accounts is made up != clear
Expecting me to have to work out how three different sets of accounts interlink in last year's accounts before doing this year's accounts != clear

Clear?

 

[marknotgeorge]

We have a woman who visit's our office now and again. It's now a standing joke that when she does pop in we all have to don gas masks.
How much perfume does one person need ffs?

Strong perfume/after-shave gives me an instant headache.

 

[welsh dragon]

Detailed != clear
Lots of working papers != clear
Being unable to point to a bunch of figures that show how a line in the accounts is made up != clear
Expecting me to have to work out how three different sets of accounts interlink in last year's accounts before doing this year's accounts != clear

Clear?

Crystal

 

[GrumpyGregry]

"I'm not entirely convinced that your choice of career is one which is wholly suited to your particular and unique set of gifts. I'm not entirely convinced any choice of career is. Unless being a toady knobjockey is a career choice?"

 

[Mandragora]

'For gawd's sake. Why? Why do you do it? When you have a bit of a rubbish reputation, why do you do something which is pretty good, that I pick up and move forward for you, and which gets you a bit of recognition, why oh why do you then always have to ruin it in less than 24 hours by being utterly unreasonable - to the very people who you need not to wind up, and who've only just started to notice that you might not be the useless idiot they had decided you were??? Stop being a self-destructive fool. And for goodness sake, don't send emails that you write in a temper. Or if you must send them, send them to me. Definitely don't send them to the boss.' *Sigh*

 

[GM]

Me to younger brother (56)........
So you think it's funny to come back to the villa absolutely legless, you come into my room pull down your boxers and try to sit on my face. Lucky I wasn't asleep, it was probably the singing or slamming of the doors that woke me up when you came stomping in, all 20st of you. What on earth were you thinking? it's not an 18/30 holiday you know, more of a 55/65 holiday. Anyway you spoilt it for me so there!
Conclusion:- All inclusive holidays are a haven for pi$$ artists!