Ravenbait
Someone's imaginary friend
- Location
- The Seventh Level of Hell
All of those holier-than-thou people who think that their assessment of the hazard matrix and associated risks is SOOOOO much better than mine and feel the need to harp on about how doing such-and-such could save my life, or that I'm an idiot for not doing this that or the other -- kindly STFU. I'm big enough and old enough and experienced enough to make my own decisions and deal with the consequences. I don't harp on at you for being such a goody-goody killjoy, do I? I especially mean all those who feel they simply MUST jump on any comment about listening to MP3s or not wearing a helmet even if the actual point of the story is something else entirely.
Hypothetical example:
"I was riding along listening to some gentle prog rock by that under-appreciated 70s ensemble the Alan Parsons Project with the wind in my hair when a rabid badger leapt from the hedgrow and knocked me from my bike. Unfortunately I was being overtaken at the time by a toerag in a souped-up Landrover (I think it may have been Jeremy Clarkson in a wig) who had failed to give me the requisite amount of room specified in the Highway Code. My head now bears a passing resemblance to a watermelon that met an untimely end at the hands of a sledgehammer-wielding maniac. Is this an argument for culling badgers or for culling inconsiderate Landrover drivers?"
"If you hadn't been listening to your iPod then you'd have heard the dreadful 80s soft rock coming from the Landrover and the savage snarls of the badger and would have been in a better position to take evasive action. Also, a helmet would have reduced the severity of the damage inflicted upon your noggin when the offroad tyres at the rear of the vehicle squashed it against the tarmac."
OI, MUPPET, NO! This is not the appropriate moment to thrust your negligble-risk aversion on the rest of us. This is where we extend sympathies to the injured cyclist and support a plea for better driving standards!
And breathe.
Sam
Hypothetical example:
"I was riding along listening to some gentle prog rock by that under-appreciated 70s ensemble the Alan Parsons Project with the wind in my hair when a rabid badger leapt from the hedgrow and knocked me from my bike. Unfortunately I was being overtaken at the time by a toerag in a souped-up Landrover (I think it may have been Jeremy Clarkson in a wig) who had failed to give me the requisite amount of room specified in the Highway Code. My head now bears a passing resemblance to a watermelon that met an untimely end at the hands of a sledgehammer-wielding maniac. Is this an argument for culling badgers or for culling inconsiderate Landrover drivers?"
"If you hadn't been listening to your iPod then you'd have heard the dreadful 80s soft rock coming from the Landrover and the savage snarls of the badger and would have been in a better position to take evasive action. Also, a helmet would have reduced the severity of the damage inflicted upon your noggin when the offroad tyres at the rear of the vehicle squashed it against the tarmac."
OI, MUPPET, NO! This is not the appropriate moment to thrust your negligble-risk aversion on the rest of us. This is where we extend sympathies to the injured cyclist and support a plea for better driving standards!
And breathe.
Sam
you must be so proud
).
