This mortality thing.

[SpokeyDokey]

A long while back I thought I was going to live forever. Now I'm sure that I won't.

I ponder a bit these days as I approach the 60 years old watershed on my impending demise. Not obsessively but the thought flits in and out of focus in the odd quiet moment.

Not in a miserable way and not through any real fear of death - not that I see that as something to relish with glee either. Although that could change of course.

I was just wondering how other people deal with something we all have to face at some time.

I get all the 'live every day as your last', 'do it today there might not be a tomorrow' etc stuff but ultimately there is a terminal moment waiting up the track for all of us.

For me, I feel a certain sadness. The days of hard toil, worrying about career and fretting over bills are long gone for me. I'm in a happy space but the thought that with a bit of luck I'm probably only around for 15-20 years at best, is a bit of a killjoy.

How do you deal with it?

 

[Drago]

I've long since come to terms with it. Just so long as it isn't painful and drawn out, then when it comes it comes. That's not to say I relish the prospect and I am gonna go kicking, screaming, biting and gouging if I can, but mentally I'm in the place where I'm not worrying about it.

 

[DaveReading]

See the "Growing Old Disgracefully" thread.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

See the "Growing Old Disgracefully" thread.

I did - that prompted me to post this. That's the point really, they are having so much fun but here's so little time for even more fun.

 

[User32269]

I turned 50 this year and have 3 kids under 10. My job is quite physically demanding and, on current forecasts, will have to work til I'm about 280. Looking forward to the rest! View it as a long lay in!

 

[Dave 123]

I spoke to my mum about stuff like this a couple of years ago. It's not death that worries her, it's losing her independence.
Currently she's 82, her body is failing slowly, but her mind is still razor sharp.

Like you say @SpokeyDokey , it's inevitable, it's just how many sh1te filled potholes we have to negotiate in the last few miles. Hopefully it'll be a smooth one!

 

[numbnuts]

I've paid for my funeral

 

[TVC]

As I approach 50 I like to think I'm only half way there.

For me the wake up happened when I had my big collision, that was a close call, and since then I've taken the attitude never say no to anything (except morris dancing obviously). I ignore or get away from the idiots and gather the nice people close, plan for a secure future, but spend money gathering good memories now.

 

[mjr]

Try to do what you want. Seriously. No point being miserable in what time we have left... well no more than necessary or unavoidable and there will always be some unless there is something unhinged. Don't chase the short term though because you may be here a long time yet. In this context cycling makes a lot of sense and so does helping get others riding too IMO

 

[Dayvo]

I've paid for my funeral

Will there be lots of cake?

 

[Mrs M]

Hadn't really though of it too much until I read this .

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

I spent a lot of my life listening and being influenced too much by others. There were good times but ultimately I could never be me until I got to my early forties.
It's left me with an urge to catch up and lots of regrets for an independence I should have had.

I'm now the happiest I've ever been with my wonderful other half but facing a future where I've got to work more to pay for a future just when I've got the urge to slow down and enjoy.

Genetics are on my side, three grandparents lived up to and beyond 90.
I fear debilitation and death because I want to live a grow so much more.
I'm beginning to live the life I yearned for decades ago and don't want it to end.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

I can't stop it happening so why should I worry about it.

I get by in life, doing what I need to do to provide for those that I've created and caused to depend on me for whatever financial and/or emotional things that they do. Would I slog my gut out for an ungrateful organisation if I didn't have to - no. Could I be in a worse employment situation - very much so. Do I enjoy the people in my life - hell yeah.

The things I can control around my death are the practicalities: I have a simple but clear Will to assist those left behind, a pension and payout for my nearest when I die, clear instructions for my organs (if not turned to pate under a left hook truck) to go to others, what my ideal funeral and disposal would be and the people I love know I love them.

 

[Dayvo]

I echo Drago's words.

I am NOT religious and don't follow any religion (although Buddhism, as a 'lifestyle is something I try to adapt to) but have a strong belief in an afterlife.

I've had two out of body experiences (note: not near death): once whilst meditating and once when I was totally blind drunk.

Hence Drago's post hit the nail on the head (although he may not share my view on an afterlife).

'I've long since come to terms with it. Just so long as it isn't painful and drawn out, then when it comes it comes. That's not to say I relish the prospect and I am gonna go kicking, screaming, biting and gouging if I can, but mentally I'm in the place where I'm not worrying about it.'

But, I'd just say that you should live and enjoy every day as much as you can.

 

[Sara_H]

I'm 42 and have similar thoughts. I think my "near death experience" three years ago started it for me.

As a nurse dealing with death and dying has been a part of everyday working life (well, not everyday, but you get my point) but it was always something that happened to other people. I suddenly had to face up to the reality that I'm not immortal and that I was already at least halfway through!

Watching the AP's (aged parents) getting more and more doddery then makes me realise that even though I've only got 30ish years left, the time left to really enjoy doing what I enjoy doing now is even shorter than that.

I'm not religious, I don't believe in an afterlife. Death = nothing as far as I'm concerned. So can't even reassure myself with that!

Life is good, I've long since come to the realisation that there's no point in regrets, that life is for living and to make the most of it. And it may well be because life is so good that I often get a little knot of anxiety in my tummy when I allow myself to think about it all coming to an end and there's nothing I can do about it!