This mortality thing.

[Pro Tour Punditry]

I think two of the three BGees are dead now.

Aye they just sang the tune, I lived it

 

[vernon]

 

[Sbudge]

Over the years i have lost 3 brothers 2 sisters and my wife but if you think that would make me think about my morality you would be wrong . Im to busy living to think about death

Really great attitude Arch...but that missing 't' rather alters the tone of what you were trying to say though Unless there's something more sinister you're trying to tell us?

 

[arch684]

Really great attitude Arch...but that missing 't' rather alters the tone of what you were trying to say though Unless there's something more sinister you're trying to tell us?

?

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Damn contagious, this mortality thing.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

I thought it was just me!

I turned 55 this year and have been pondering this for a while.

Perhaps triggered by our parents popping off, we see ourselves move to the front of the queue.

I rationalise it as being quite natural. When we have a full pint of beer we are not thinking about running out. We do not know how much is left or when we will take the last swig though.

What to do?
I had a bit of a review and have been making a few changes. Lost about half a stone as I was kidding myself I was OK but was not. Just had a 55 screening at the doctors and apparently I am supposed to be pleased I have a 4% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years when the average is 9%. 4% still is a bit of a worry.
So really putting some effort into looking after myself. I tend to slacken off cycling in the winter - just with the weather and dark , so getting back into running and did my first parkrun last Saturday. Working on lengthening the odds must be worth it. Stand on any street and you see people doing all they can to shorten their odds.

Next up is work. I have basically hated my job for the past 5 years and so I am winding it down to finish it in early Jan. Plan is to do things I like doing and minimise the bit I don't like doing. Big leap of faith but I decided it has to be done and to not worry about it.

Then there is the "bucket list". Don't like the term but it sums it up. If I make it to old age, I will be happier about it if I have done all the things I want to do. Or at least tried and failed at them. The work change is to make some time to push on some things that I have just not been able to give enough time to.

Lastly, I am quite sure that as I get older, I will be happier I have lived to that age rather than be unhappy with the limited time left. Given the two options that is the better one.

@Over The Hill

Re next in the queue. I think that is part of it. I have a mental image of a conveyor belt with everyone in a line on it and a steady drip, drip off of one end...

The things that you are thinking of doing, and indeed currently do, are all valid and are similar to those that I have done over the last decade. But...
...for me they exacerbate the 'problem'. The happier I get the more I want of it and I really don't like the frightening speed at which time flies by. I find it a little bit scary tbh.

Re leap of faith. Hope that works out for you. We (Lovely Wife & I) made a huge leap of faith over a decade back. We finally quit the rat race by turning off two very lucrative careers. This decision took about 2 years to plan and then another couple to execute due to dithering and being afraid of the unknown. In the end we are glad we made the call but ironically it has lead to my earlier expressed frustrations.

Lovely Wife has no such thoughts as mine. She is very much a 'live in the moment' person and worries very little about what the future holds let alone how long that future is.

Good luck with your big shift!

 

[Dave the Smeghead]

I read somewhere very recently that the person who will live to 135 has already been born.......
I am not sure I would want to as the body wears out.
I remember seeing an interview with a great old lady who was 112 (I think). She was interviewed on her 112th birthday by some inane journalist who had to ask her "how do you see the future?" - her reply was "short!" - absolute classic moment and fair play to her.
I am now trying to be a bit healthier - cycling a minimum of 14 miles every working day although that is mostly in London but I do wear a Respro City mask and I firmly believe it is far healthier than taking the tube - its much more fun cycling and Lord Knows what you are breathing down there....
I hope to die when I'm ready, those I love know it just in case.
Meantime trying to enjoy myself between working and try to sow seeds of love / happiness / helpfulness as I go through. Life really is too short for aggression and misery.
Reading Terry Pratchett has helped. If Death is anything like the personification created by Terry Pratchett I am actually looking forward to meeting him!

 

[Over The Hill]

@Over The Hill

Re next in the queue. I think that is part of it. I have a mental image of a conveyor belt with everyone in a line on it and a steady drip, drip off of one end...

The things that you are thinking of doing, and indeed currently do, are all valid and are similar to those that I have done over the last decade. But...
...for me they exacerbate the 'problem'. The happier I get the more I want of it and I really don't like the frightening speed at which time flies by. I find it a little bit scary tbh.

Re leap of faith. Hope that works out for you. We (Lovely Wife & I) made a huge leap of faith over a decade back. We finally quit the rat race by turning off two very lucrative careers. This decision took about 2 years to plan and then another couple to execute due to dithering and being afraid of the unknown. In the end we are glad we made the call but ironically it has lead to my earlier expressed frustrations.

Lovely Wife has no such thoughts as mine. She is very much a 'live in the moment' person and worries very little about what the future holds let alone how long that future is.

Good luck with your big shift!

Many thanks and lots to think about.

I had not looked at it that way but I guess the more you have to lose means a greater loss or fear of loss. Perhaps with it is that many people who are 80 still can be quite active and do stuff and are not old and broken as we would have seen years ago.

My mum popped off a couple of years ago and I was left a bit of money. Not a fortune but a bit. I decided I would use it to make things better for the family. So I have a few plans in the pipeline that I am kicking off and getting underway while the present job is dropped. I feel much better even though nothing has yet changed, just knowing it will is great.

I suppose the mortality thing while a bugger, did get both of us to enjoy what we have, so some good in it.

 

[classic33]

Pinched from the net - I want one mourner at my funeral to come dressed as the Grim Reaper - and not to say anything, just stand at the back with a scythe.

Also, every mourner gets issued with a Taser, and last man standing gets all my sh*t...

 

[GrumpyGregry]

How do I deal with it?

I implemented Project 10 Good Summers the outcomes of which are/will be at least 10 really memorable, for good reasons, summers between my 50th birthday, nearly five years ago, and my going gaga or dying or hitting 70. No more "I wish I'd tried...." and much more "I'm glad I tried...."

It has meant cycling from London to John O'Groats with The Fridays to packing my job in and becoming self-employed. It has meant running a half-marathon or five. It has meant reffing a Sussex Div 1 Rugby match. It means I got to see my beautiful and bright daughter graduate. It means I bought TLH the eternity ring she has wanted for 30 years and with debt-free cash. Still got to cycle the Western Isles. Still got to see the Grand Canyon on/from a Harley. Still got to go to Iceland and see the Northern Lights and the Midnight Sun. Still got to learn to sail and race a boat. &c.

Sometimes I feel sad, and a little afraid, when I think about what I wont live to see and do. About the world carryng on without me. Then I thank God for my two amazing children, and for the life I've had thus far, which surpasses my youthful expectation by so much I still have to pinch myself at how lucky I am.

(In a bit I've to get dressed to fly to Stockholm for work. For the day. It will be a tough day in the office with some hard talking to be done. But hell, me, a kid from a pretty crappy council estate in Crawley New Town, living and working in Copenhagen/Stockholm. Who even knew? My life is so, so much better than I thought it could be.)

 

[Mo1959]

The happier I get the more I want of it and I really don't like the frightening speed at which time flies by. I find it a little bit scary tbh.

Sometimes I feel sad, and a little afraid, when I think about what I wont live to see and do. About the world carryng on without me.

These two quotes pretty much sum it up for me too.

I left a stressful job earlier than I should have so my work pension got drastically reduced and I am living on a very low income. I could look for another job but, I feel life is flying past so quickly that I would rather live very modestly enjoying my cycling and walking while I am still reasonably fit and active. When I see how much my dad and stepmum are starting to struggle with old age, I feel I want to enjoy as many years as possible before the body starts to fall to bits!

 

[Over The Hill]

These two quotes pretty much sum it up for me too.

I left a stressful job earlier than I should have so my work pension got drastically reduced and I am living on a very low income. I could look for another job but, I feel life is flying past so quickly that I would rather live very modestly enjoying my cycling and walking while I am still reasonably fit and active. When I see how much my dad and stepmum are starting to struggle with old age, I feel I want to enjoy as many years as possible before the body starts to fall to bits!

Sounds a good call. Good for you!

My eldest is 20 now and if I look at the last 20 years in some ways they have flown by but in other ways not. Is it the good bits I remember while the boring bits slip past?

 

[Mrs M]

Mr M played golf a few days ago with a man aged 82 and his wife (around same age).
They were on quite a hilly course and it was a hot day but they didn't hire a buggy, even though the round took 5 hours.
It was their 5th round of golf on the trot but they were having a rest next day .
Mr M was tired just watching them.
Nobody knows what will come their way, illness, disease or accident wise .
It's not a cure but I believe that keeping active and having interests and staying as positive as you can all help.

 

[EltonFrog]

There is a woman next door but one to me, she has lived in this village most of her life, she's on holiday at the moment in Isle of Wight with her family, I met her a few times had dinner with her round her nephews house, she never talks about the mortality but always about what she's doing. She is 102.

 

[EltonFrog]

I've given up worrying about it. I've survived cancer twice, been shot a couple of times, had several serious accidents and worked in a number of war zones.

All I'll say is that when Death and Binky turn up, they'd better bring a decent bottle of red wine...

You're a clumsy fecker ain't ya?