Trivial things that make you annoyed beyond expectations?

[No Ta Doctor]

The simple answer to the crumpet issue would be to heat a more sensible 3 per sitting. I would probably eat 4 though, which would bring us back to the original annoyance!

There's a fundamental mismatch between the uneven number of crumpets ad the generally even number of slots in a toaster though. Eating three with a two-slot toaster implies either letting a crumpet go cold while you wait for a second batch, eating the first batch while making the second (detrimental to the full enjoyment of the crumpets), or eating the first batch and then going back to make the second (disrupting a mealtime with meal prep between batches). None of these is optimal.

A far better solution is to buy two packets of crumpets, thereby having 9 servings of two crumpets available.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

There's a fundamental mismatch between the uneven number of crumpets ad the generally even number of slots in a toaster though. Eating three with a two-slot toaster implies either letting a crumpet go cold while you wait for a second batch, eating the first batch while making the second (detrimental to the full enjoyment of the crumpets), or eating the first batch and then going back to make the second (disrupting a mealtime with meal prep between batches). None of these is optimal.

A far better solution is to buy two packets of crumpets, thereby having 9 servings of two crumpets available.

or making 1 and eating it while making the other 2
hence when you take them into the lounge to eat them then your wife only knows about the second 2??

 

[No Ta Doctor]

or making 1 and eating it while making the other 2
hence when you take them into the lounge to eat them then your wife only knows about the second 2??

That was covered by "eating the first batch while making the second".

As for the food secrecy, your wife can count and doesn't believe that crumpets evaporate on exposure to air. Hopefully she treasures your charming naivety and smiles to herself when seeing the space where a crumpet ought to have been, instead of becoming enraged that some greedy b'stård ate all the crumpets.

I myself live alone and answer to no man, woman, child or beast for how many crumpets I eat in one sitting. Should I wish to, I could eat all nine* at once.


*not packs

 

[Dadam]

There's a fundamental mismatch between the uneven number of crumpets ad the generally even number of slots in a toaster though. Eating three with a two-slot toaster implies either letting a crumpet go cold while you wait for a second batch, eating the first batch while making the second (detrimental to the full enjoyment of the crumpets), or eating the first batch and then going back to make the second (disrupting a mealtime with meal prep between batches). None of these is optimal.

A far better solution is to buy two packets of crumpets, thereby having 9 servings of two crumpets available.

You're forgetting the fact that you can in fact fit two crumpets in one slot, hence enabling you to eat 3 (or even 4) in a single sitting. Proven many times by myself. Depending on toaster or crumpet size the layout may have to be like this: %
The drawback with this is extracting the lower crumpet can be fiddly or injurious to one's fingers, but mitigations are available such as impaling it on the end of a fork.