True Facts About Escarpment Richard, formerly known as Cliff.

[Drago]

Bad news for the British public.

Essarpment Richard has lost his Food Blender Hackjng court case against the Daily Snail.

He's been hit with a £34.5 million Bill for the Snail's legal fees, so in order to raise money Misletoe and Wine will now be on sale all year round.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Dicky is going to attempt to ride his chopper off the white cliffs, set the land speed record, and land it in France. He says it has never been attempted before, as no one else has the cajones.

 

[DRM]

Inspired by his Summer Holiday film, Escarpment Richard decided to modernise it, and go huge, so he arranged Iron Maiden's 2008 "Somewhere Back In Time Tour" he managed to get Bruce Dickinson to borrow a plane from work, sorted out the visas and all the roadies, and got the whole thing filmed, and in the spirit of all coach holidays, he even organised a whip round for the driver!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

In an emerging scandal it has been discovered that Dicky has diverted a substantial portion of the river Severn to feed his water feature and keep his garden grass green. “Drought, what drought?“ Dicky was heard to say.

 

[Drago]

Escarpment Richard died in 1966 and was replaced by Paul McCartney.

 

[Dogtrousers]

All of the Chinese Robots are based on Escarpment Richard's dimensions.

 

[Drago]

Escarpment Richard is subject to an Interpol warrant.

It seem1s K-Tel had 300 boxes of the Cliff Sings Christmas double albums that they couldnt shift. Storage was worth more than the albums themselves, so they dumped them where they thought no one would ever find them - high on a Tibetan glacier.

Sadly the black vinyl absorbed the suns rays and caused the glacier to melt and careen down the valley, with catastrophic results.

In a deeply ironic twist of fate, Escarpment recorded a benefit album to raise money for the relief effort. Sales have been poor and its rumoured that K-Tel are looking for somewhere to dump them...

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/cwyz971rld2o

Norfolk Police are wanting to interview the escaped driver of a Double Decker Bus, that was returning from a Summer Holiday Mystery Tour in Europe, the passengers didn't know his name, but he enjoyed singing & was said to be knowledgeable about the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament

 

[Drago]

violence in Middlesbrough after the local Co-Op has put Cliff's Greatest Hits on rotation over their PA.