True Facts About Escarpment Richard, formerly known as Cliff.

[Drago]

Cliff's Summer Holiday bus was seized and crushed by West Mids police who mistook it for an illegally modded ebike.

 

[Webbo2]

Given I was once was bus conductor in another life. Could I have been compromised by Cliff.😱😱😱🫣

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard is allergic to protein.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Cliff thought of the song title Move It, after the road to the recording studio was blocked by a delivery van

 

[DRM]

Cliff Richards hit song "Bachelor Boy" was written as a testament to his love of the company's range of Cuppa Soups & tinned Mushy Peas

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard is to star as the Kurgan in the 2027 Highlander reboot.

 

[wbm5]

My mother would come back to haunt me if I contributed to the spirit of this thread!

 

[DRM]

Cliff Richard is a fully qualified Michelin starred chef, when he's working in the kitchen he uses words that make Gordon Ramsey blush

 

[Gwylan]

Let sleeping dogs lie. Enjoy the silence.

How big is the closet?

 

[Dave7]

I have a friend that has a friend so I know the following is genuine.
Cliff has been secretly married 3 times.
#1 was Maralyn Munroe. That failed as he liked to play naughty spanking games but that was against her Christian beliefs.
#2 was Eatha Kit but the contrast was too great.
#3 was Venus Williams. That failed as, although he loves tennis, he is a jealous sort of guy and refused to let her play with his balls.
Recently he had a fling with Katie Price. That failed for 2 reasons. A) she wears specs and if she forgot to put them on she would often get Cliff mixed up with Harvey and 2) her good looks made him feel inferior.
Unlike some of the rubbish on here you can trust this.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard was thrown out of the Salvation Army for being too hard.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard had Greta Thunberg in mind when he wrote Devil Woman.

 

[DRM]

Cliff Richard enjoys a spot of cycle touring, on one trip to France he got the best time up Alp D'Huez on a fully loaded Spa Wayfarer! when asked for a comment, Tom Pidcock said "B*gger"

 

[DRM]

In the early 1980's Cliff Richard managed to persuade the members of The Shadows to join him in a top secret project, by 1982 their plans came to fruition, with the use of top Hollywood make up artists, wigs & prosthetic devices, a vocal coach to help him perfect a Manchester accent, Cliff launched a new band with Cliff becoming an angst ridden Mancunian, known as Morrisey,on vocals, thus The Smiths were born, with Hank Marvin now known as Johnny Marr, all went well until 1987, when a fall out with Bruce Welch, over his Chicken Vindaloo rider, led to Bruce Welch threatening to let the cat out of the bag

 

[Drago]

Times are so hard these days for Cliff that has had to supplement his income by working as a Cliff Richard impersonator.