True Facts About Mr T

[Windle]

Mr T holds the Guinness World Record for unicycling around the wall of death, a time of 17 hours, 37 minutes and 8 seconds, set at a funfair in Little Falls, Minnesota in 1983 at the height of his A-Team fame.
He only stopped so early due to the onset of a stiff neck, caused by his excessive tonnage of bling dangling at an awkward angle.

 

[Drago]

Since the dawn of flight, pilots have exp[erienced G forces. However, this is a mispronunciation that has become widely accepted.

Early pilots described the phenomenon as "like being punched out by Mr T," and they were thus christened T forces. However, Douglas Bader had a lisp and when he spoke it sounded like "G forces." The film of Bader's life starring Kennerth More faithfully reproduced this pronunciation and the term stuck. Only engineers in the know still use the correct term, T forces.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Mr T used to holiday in Brighton every summer, and liked watching the sunrise from the pier. When disturbed by the local rag he said "I pity the fool who don't appreciate a good sunrise," in a low growl that vibrated through the very planks of the pier.

 

[PeteXXX]

Mr T orders personalised Alphabeti Spaghetti with all of the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUVWXYZ's removed.

 

[Drago]

Tuesday, or T's day, was named by the Romans after the great man.

 

[Way-Out-West]

Mr T wrote most of the Haynes repair manuals in the 80’s and always mentioned scaffold poles. girders and corrugated sheeting as essential workshop consumables.

 

[Dogtrousers]

When he was younger Mr T found himself short of cash so he tried selling some of his old vests. They were an enormous success, and the "T-shirt" was born.

He still receives a royalty on every T-Shirt sold. He pays it into a charitable fund that provides disadvantaged kids with gold chains.

 

[PeteXXX]

Mr T & the MG's only hit was Green Onions.

 

[DRM]

Mr T was in the U.S Army at the same time as Jimi Hendrix, and was a wheeled vehicle mechanic, one day Jimi was ordered to take a truck down to the workshop for it's service, his good mate Mr T was there ready to work on the truck, unfortunately the chassis needed a welding repair, and Jimi had forgotten his special stash was hidden in one of the outriggers, the oxy-acetylene torch & welding rod caused the stash to burn giving off a strange coloured, pungent smoke, when a pair of NCO's came to see what was going on, they found Jimi off his head, who was dragged away for a meeting with the camp C.O, Mr T got away with it, as they didn't look in the garages pit, despite being severely punished though, at least Jimi Hendrix got inspiration for his smash hit "Purple Haze" so it wasn't all bad

 

[Drago]

Some Roman Centurions took to wearing their helmet crest sideways in order to avoid having to pay royalties to Mr T.

 

[stephec]

Mr T invented the soft ice cream and was due to release it as Mr Soft T.

At the same time Margaret Thatcher was working on something similar at Walls but couldn't quite perfect it.

On day she stormed into Mr T's lab and pinned him to the wall demanding to know the secret ingredient, causing Mr T to brick it and hand it straight over.

Unconfirmed reports say that Chuck Norris was on security duty that day, but somehow missed it as he was, 'on the toilet at the time, honest.'

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Mr T is now a Beefeater at the Tower of London. He don’t suffer no fool tourist.

 

[Dogtrousers]

When Mr T was on Bake Off he made a dessert of fresh fruit and cream, but as an unconventional twist he also added sliced chilli pepper. Mary Berry described his dish as a "crazy fool" and he never appeared on the show again.

 

[classic33]

Mr T was a key player in the Brinks Mat bullion robbery. Despite multiple searches of his house and van the police have never found a trace of the stolen booty.

View attachment 775630

Weighs a little over 24 kilo's, that lot.

 

[Drago]

Mr T was removed from the big brother house after calling Shane Richie a "crazy fool", firing an AK47 loaded with blanks at him, and then bursting through a wall in a sit-on lawnmower covered in steel plate and corrugated iron.