True Facts About Mr T

[dan_bo]

 

[DRM]

One of Mr T's inventions proved to be an utter disaster, despite deploying his finest engineering skills, the "Helicopter Roof Rack" failed the U.S Army's trials at the first go

 

[DRM]

Mr T wrote the tune Apache in 1959 after going to the Saturday morning children’s cinema to watch Cowboy & Indian films, he wants a word with Hank Marvin, something to do with royalties apparently

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Mr T is riding LEL and will be in the T group. He bike is made from some gas pipes he found lying around, and an old pram, powered by one chain from round his neck. His bike toolkit consists of welding materials and a mask. “Fool if you think I won’t finish” he is quoted as saying.

 

[Drago]

Mr T did his National Service in the Royal Navy. He didnt three voyages as deck hand on the submarine HMS Leadweight. Since that time no other sailor has been able to hold their breath for an entire 4 month voyage.

 

[DRM]

Mr T did his National Service in the Royal Navy. He didnt three voyages as deck hand on the submarine HMS Leadweight. Since that time no other sailor has been able to hold their breath for an entire 4 month voyage.

Mr T became so good at holding his breath whilst a member of the RN's Submarine Service, that the Subs Captain would release him via the torpedo tubes, so he could swim under Soviet Naval Ships and send rude and vulgar messages by knocking morse code on the bottom of them, however the Admiralty put a stop to it after he went a bit too far with his comments about Leonid Brezhnev, that nearly started WW3

 

[Drago]

Mr T wanted out of the Royal Navy, but he'd signed up for 30 years and his skills at building aircraft carriers from scrap corrugated iron were too valuable to lose.

In the end he faked his own death and managed to escape. In 1956 T was sent to hold his breath and examine a Russian cruiser berthed in Portsmouth harbour. T found the death bodymof Lionel "Buster" Crabbe at the bottom of the harbour and was able to stuff Crabbe's body into his diving gear.

A year later authorities discovered the corpse and pronounced dead. That Crabbe was white didnt seem to raise any curiosity with the admiralty.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Mr T was actually an undercover Captain in the Royal Navy

He was appointed as the Captain of HMS Hood and undertook an Top Secret mission that can only now be revealed

The whole Battle of the Denmark Strait was a massive ruse and Hood was never sunk
In reality the explosion was designed to distract the Germans on Bismark of the reality that
in total secret - Hood had been converted into a massive and heavily armed submarine
Under cover of the explosion she quickly submerged - giving the impression that she had sunk
Prince of Wales kept firing for a short time then withdrew to force Bismark to either follow her or escape - both meaning they moved away from Hood

Hood then went on to sink many submarines who were totally shocked when a full blown Battle Cruiser surfaced and sunk them with her big guns

She also sunk the Tirpitz by sneaking up the fjord submerged and surfacing just as the first Tallboys were being dropped so everyone was looking at the aircraft - leaving her a clean shot at the battleship before re-submerging and sneaking out

This has been one of the RN's biggest secrets which has only come to light recently as it was mentioned in the Epstein files

 

[DRM]

Mr T was set to become the new presenter on The Sooty & Sweep Show in 1975, when Harry Corbett retired, however ITV decided that it would probably make Sooty too aggressive, and many children would be wondering how on earth he became so good at welding & grinding, so they gave the job to Matthew Corbett instead

 

[DRM]

For many years historians believed that the German Cruiser Admiral Graf Spee was scuttled in Montevideo Harbour Uruguay, however Mr T put his remarkable breath holding skills to use, by swimming under the ship, and chewing off the rivets holding the ships steel plates in place, thereby sinking the ship, however the German Navy claimed they scuttled it to prevent it falling into Royal Navy hands, & to prevent the wrath of Adolf Hitler, Mr T partially dismantled a lot of the ship in order to weigh it in for scrap, the proceeds of which paid for a massive booze up on his ships return to the RN Dockyard at Portsmouth, the damage those matelots caused was blamed on a German bombing raid

 

[Drago]

Adolf Hitler was so incensed withnthe Nazi thwarting activities of Mr T that he signed the famous "commando order", stating that should T ever be captured he immediately be locked in a barn full of welding gear while awaiting collection by the Gestapo.

 

[Way-Out-West]

Mr T has recently bought Chatgpt and is renaming it ChatMrT. All content is to be axed apart from welding and vans.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Adolf Hitler was so incensed withnthe Nazi thwarting activities of Mr T that he signed the famous "commando order", stating that should T ever be captured he immediately be locked in a barn full of welding gear while awaiting collection by the Gestapo.

Mr T was actually capture and locked up here
And this is when the first jet fighter was invented and built by Mr T from scrap metal and the remains of a old staff car
the ME262 was invented from scratch by Mr T

 

[DRM]

Mr T invented Chicken Tikka Masala, after finding the food a bit too spicy for his liking on his all inclusive stay at the Mumbai Travel Lodge, on his holiday to India, he also invented spring loaded automatic wickets, after locals taught him how to play cricket

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chat mrT will have one response to all queries “Pity the fool who asked that question”. Mr T claims this will save billions, and he’ll be able to run it off his electric t brush.