Uncle Drago's agony column

[Toshiba Boy]

Dear Uncle Drago

I am at my wits end, I've just heard on the wireless that after 14 glorious years the Kardashians are stopping their reality TV show.

Where am I going to go for my culture fix now?

Please reply quickly, I don't think I can keep up this incredibly sad, pouting lips look for too long.

Fake Big Arse of West Zummerzet

 

[Drago]

dear classless person,

This must be terrible for you, the foundation upon which your entire world been broken up and swept aside.

However, fear not. There is somewhere else you can go for your vicarious fix of binge drinking, stripper poles, and rampant materialism. I give you...

Coronation Street

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago

I am at my wits end, I've just heard on the wireless that after 14 glorious years the Kardashians are stopping their reality TV show.

Where am I going to go for my culture fix now?

Please reply quickly, I don't think I can keep up this incredibly sad, pouting lips look for too long.

Fake Big Arse of West Zummerzet

Dear F. Arse

You can always enjoy the re-runs. It's only new episode's that they are stopping.

Should the re-runs not be your thing, there is always the new TOWIE series starting soon.

Yours helpfully
Dr. Strange

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Dear F. Arse

You can always enjoy the re-runs. It's only new episode's that they are stopping.

Should the re-runs not be your thing, there is always the new TOWIE series starting soon.

Yours helpfully
Dr. Strange

Dear Auntie Classic33

Thank you so much.

Just one quick question, what is this TOWIE of which you speak? Is it shorthand for a bike trailer?

Befuddled Fake Big Arse of West Zummerzet

 

[classic33]

Dear Auntie Classic33

Thank you so much.

Just one quick question, what is this TOWIE of which you speak? Is it shorthand for a bike trailer?

Befuddled Fake Big Arse of West Zummerzet

Dear Befuddled F.Arse
It's a shortened name of UK TV program. Shortened only after they realised the full name took up too much space.

It is supposed to be a UK version of the program you'll be missing when production stops.

Yours
Dr. Strangr

 

[Drago]

TOWIE is indeed much like Keeping Up with the Kardashians. However, I must urge caution - prior to ogling Gemma in the manner in which you might ogle Mrs West I would suggest that one dons a blindfold and welding mask. This is necessary in order to prevent permanent eyesight damage and severe disruption to intellectual processing.

 

[Dave7]

Dear Uncle Drago. I would appreciate your words of wisdom (or those of other wise people on here) on a delicate matter.
Some months ago i read that I should keep an eye on my eerh uhhmm ahh..... my number 2s. My big jobbies.
Well I quickly noticed the colours that changed day to day. Sometimes pink, sometimes bright orange, sometimes shimmering blue. Yesterday was quite strange as it was red, white and blue stripes.
It may seem far fetched but I am sure there was a likeness to BoJo in there.
Is this something I should worry about.
Kindest regards
Frederick Bigdump.

 

[Arjimlad]

Dear Uncle Drago

Along the lines of Mr Bigdump's question above, is it wrong to take pride in the thickness length and sheer weightiness of said no2s, and if so, what help is available to the afflicted ?

Yours crimpingly,
Thos. Crapper

 

[TheDoctor]

How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

 

[Drago]

Dear Uncle Drago

Along the lines of Mr Bigdump's question above, is it wrong to take pride in the thickness length and sheer weightiness of said no2s, and if so, what help is available to the afflicted ?

Yours crimpingly,
Thos. Crapper

Dear Thossing Slapper,

It is nothing to be ashamed of. Indeed, the girth, length, and tidyness of the end where it is nipped off should be a source of pride to all men.

There is a name for men that do not take pleasure from such pursuits - women.

 

[Archie_tect]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I worry about you... should I stop?

 

[Hover Fly]

Further to the above; re No. 2s, I have just checked my No. 2s and they are, as always, khaki, with medals attached.

 

[classic33]

How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

As much ground as a groundhog could hog if a groundhog could hog ground.


How much ground could a groundhog pound if groundhog pounds hog mounds?

 

[pawl]

Dear Uncle Drago. I would appreciate your words of wisdom (or those of other wise people on here) on a delicate matter.
Some months ago i read that I should keep an eye on my eerh uhhmm ahh..... my number 2s. My big jobbies.
Well I quickly noticed the colours that changed day to day. Sometimes pink, sometimes bright orange, sometimes shimmering blue. Yesterday was quite strange as it was red, white and blue stripes.
It may seem far fetched but I am sure there was a likeness to BoJo in there.
Is this something I should worry about.
Kindest regards


Patriotic craps Altogether now Land of Hope and glory
Frederick Bigdump.

 

[classic33]

Patriotic craps Altogether now Land of Hope and glory

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4SH281p2u18