"Undercarriage damage" remedies?

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Heltor Chasca

Out-riding the Black Dog
True story: in my teens I had a summer job in a cigarette factory. Early on I was assigned to the ‘Menthol’ department. I don’t know if you are aware, but the minty additives come about by soaking the silver foil in fag boxes in pure menthol alcohol. When the cigarettes are packed and sealed, the menthol permeates through the cigarettes and tobacco. Follow?

Anyway, I was in the room, where vats that looked like milk churns were mixed by hand. My supervisor was a bloodshot eyed old man who was very definitely out of his tree. The menthol was so pure ice formed on the outside of the vats. The health and safety advice was to wash your hands thoroughly before drinking tea, eating, smoking, going to the toilet etc. Wash! Wash! Wash!

Junior here, in his first day nerves state forgot. When I went to the gents, I unzipped and with unwashed hands, grabbed hold of my precious particulars and began my mid morning wee....UNTIL the essential oils and alcohol almost instantly started a small inferno right in my nether regions. I cannot tell you how much pain I was in. I whipped my trousers off and jumped up onto the wash basins in an attempt to quench the fire. The gents quickly filled with hysterical factory staff. The sight of a semi naked youth, mounting the sink was the best entertainment many had obviously come accross for decades.

I was a Darwin type hero for nearly a week.
 
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OP
OP
nickAKA

nickAKA

Über Member
Location
Manchester
Check the shelf life if you’ve had the stuff a while

Sudo best ime

Aye it's been sat there for a while so probably only fit for the bin now, but blimey it was good stuff... prescription only which is a shame. I bet you could increase your ftp simply by rubbing it on your bottom.
 

DaveReading

Don't suffer fools gladly (must try harder!)
Location
Reading, obvs
True story: in my teens I had a summer job in a cigarette factory. Early on I was assigned to the ‘Menthol’ department. I don’t know if you are aware, but the minty additives come about by soaking the silver foil in fag boxes in pure menthol alcohol. When the cigarettes are packed and sealed, the menthol permeates through the cigarettes and tobacco. Follow?

Anyway, I was in the room, where vats that looked like milk churns were mixed by hand. My supervisor was a bloodshot eyed old man who was very definitely out of his tree. The menthol was so pure ice formed on the outside of the vats. The health and safety advice was to wash your hands thoroughly before drinking tea, eating, smoking, going to the toilet etc. Wash! Wash! Wash!

Junior here, in his first day nerves state forgot. When I went to the gents, I unzipped and with unwashed hands, grabbed hold of my precious particulars and began my mid morning wee....UNTIL the essential oils and alcohol almost instantly started a small inferno right in my nether regions. I cannot tell you how much pain I was in. I whipped my trousers off and jumped up onto the wash basins in an attempt to quench the fire. The gents quickly filled with hysterical factory staff. The sight of a semi naked youth, mounting the sink was the best entertainment many had obviously come accross for decades.

I was a Darwin type hero for nearly a week.

Aircraft hydraulic fluid has a similar effect. DAMHIKT.
 
Not sure whether my udder is being pulled here TBH...
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slowmotion

Quite dreadful
Location
lost somewhere
Another vote for this stuff. One of its strengths is that it's thick enough to stay where it's put and doesn't go wandering off somewhere else.
sudocreme.jpg
 

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Trevrev

Veteran
Location
Southampton
Being a sweaty person. I used to suffer around the groin area with rashes and just horrible stuff.
I cycle, run and do general gym stuff. I was suffering down below.
I do two things that have stopped my suffering. I'm completely shaved. And Sudocrem.
No more suffering.
 

Alan O

Über Member
Location
Liverpool
Being a sweaty person. I used to suffer around the groin area with rashes and just horrible stuff.
I cycle, run and do general gym stuff. I was suffering down below.
I do two things that have stopped my suffering. I'm completely shaved. And Sudocrem.
No more suffering.
Doesn't the aftershave sting a bit?
 
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