Unexpected insults

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KneesUp

Guru
I've just been out in the KnessMobile. I needed to drive down a street that is always reduced to one direction at a time by parked cars; it's maybe 200 metres long. As I turned in, I saw immediately that there was another car already coming down, so I stopped and paused briefly while I ascertained that no, there was nowhere for either of us to pull in, and no, he wasn't going to just park on the pavement as lots of people do, and then to check there were no pedestrians behind me before I reversed. In the, perhaps, 4 or 5 seconds it took me to do that, he started accelerating toward me, and as I reversed he was inches away from the front of my car, so obviously I reversed really slowly, so that the gap was appropriate for the speed we were going. As he drew alongside he did the universal one finger gesture, although I could barely see him above the door ledge because he had adopted that almost-horizontal driving position that seems to be the modus operandi of people in baseball caps. I powered down the window to enquire of this angry young man where the fire was. His response was totally unexpected - this 20-odd year old chap full of attitude in his almost new Audi coupe with it's tinted windows and big wheels said "Get lost speccy four eyes" It was disarming.

What's the most unexpected insult you've received today?
 

Drago

Legendary Member
Well, Mrs D kinda hinted that my cooking isn't very nice. I was quite hurt.
 

Drago

Legendary Member
What's wrong with my toast surprise?

Seriously though, I know where you're coming from. An unexpected, unjustified insult at exactly the wrong moment can be quite upsetting. One of the advantages of being a big unit is that most people don't feel inclined to trot the insults out in my presence, although I'm sure plenty fly about behind my back because some people are simply born arrissholes with hollow, empty lives, and an Audi on the driveway (or more likely parked half up on the footpath).
 
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KneesUp

KneesUp

Guru
It wasn't that it was upsetting, I was just totally unexpected. I thought his language would be much more agricultural "Get lost speccy four eyes" is the sort of comeback that was only effective between the ages of about 9 and 12, and that was in the olden days when I was a kid. I was totally thrown by it - it made me laugh.
 

Garry A

Calibrating.....
Location
Grangemouth
Should have quickly stuck some shades on and said "That's speccy 6 eyes to you c***".
 

Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
Sometimes the best defence is a good offence - "Yep, speccy four eyes. But I can can slip in some contacts, whereas you'll always have a face like a constipated Joe Pasquale, who's just walked in on his gran having sex with the lodger."

Or much shorter "You have the face of a bulldog that swallowed a wasp"
 

Levo-Lon

Guru
Speccy four eyes wow haven't heard that insult in about 40 years (in a school playground)

i was going to say just that:laugh:

Recently i was walked into by a 30 something bloke on the phone.
I was carrying bags of shopping in Morrison's car park so plenty of room.
He was wandering aimlessly while engrossed on his phone and turning around calling the kids.

After bumping into me he said" oops soz mate"...
I replied "with a muttered ffs"

I didnt hear his reply but the good lady said he called me a " miserable old fukker":laugh:
That really hurt:sad: as i was 52 at the time.


And far far worse was B&Q
I have a trade card.
Young girl on the til..i enquired wether she needed my card? You have to have it swiped in the trade area.i was at the normal tills.
No she said its 10% off on Wednesdays with the OAP card:eek:
My dear wife laughed for a ridiculously ott amount of time:sad: :laugh:

im not liking this theme of insult.
 
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