What is the most cringey thing you have ever done??

[gavgav]

One that still sticks in my mind was when i was at primary school. Surprised I can remember back that far, but anyway I was asked to set up the chair's and tables for assembly on my own. There was a plant that we had grown, as a class as part of a project, that was sat on a table and I decided to pick up the table to move it complete with plant on it and watched in in horror as the plant slid off onto the floor, snapped the stem and soil everywhere. I had just managed to gather up all of the soil and was about to attempt to re-attach the stem so that no-one would know, only for the head to walk in at that moment!!!

Another was on work experience where I made a cup of tea for the boss, delivered it to her and then heard a shriek as halfway down the mug she took a gulp and the teabag popped out almost into her mouth!! I had left it in the mug!!

 

[Glow worm]

Cycling 20 miles home from the office Christmas party, completely bladdered, 15 years or so ago. One broken collar bone and concussion later, means I won't be doing it again in a hurry!

 

[gbb]

Phew! I thought I was going to have tell you about the incident with the girlfriend, the toilet (lack of), the alcohol and the vigorous sex. Got away with that one then.

Oh dear

Mine...i was sitting in class, daydreaming with a set of keys between my legs under the desk.
The teacher obviously saw me and shouted across the room 'Colin, what are you playing with under the desk ? '

As a quiet 13 year old, i was mortified, the whole class erupted, i felt myself go beetroot red....God, the shame, God knows what everone in class thought.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Cycling 20 miles home from the office Christmas party, completely bladdered, 15 years or so ago. One broken collar bone and concussion later, means I won't be doing it again in a hurry!

Oh dear, the works Christmas party brings up a whole host of bad memories.

I think those are too painful to admit to on here, but I will say that I became something of a legend in my workplace afterwards. (Probably the only time I will be.)

 

[DiddlyDodds]

Many years ago i walked from work into the town centre to catch the bus, as i walked into the bus station and to my stop the place was packed just as it always was at around 4.30.
People whilst waiting for the bus sat along the window frame edges using them as temp seating , so to my delight i saw a space and walked over and sat down.
I then leaned back against the glass only to find NO glass in the frame...
Before i knew it i was falling backwards throught the frame and into the bus lane, feet up and on my back just like a dying fly ... and if that was not bad enough as 30+ people stood therewith huge smirks on their faces i then realised my butty box had gone flying under the parked bus , so after crawling under to get it , i stood up and walked off down the bus lane , out of the bus station and the 4 mile walk home.
Dont think i went for that bus for several weeks after.

 

[Thomk]

Bought a ship in a bottle for a girlfriends birthday...........two years in a row!

 

[phil_hg_uk]

Bought a ship in a bottle for a girlfriend...........two years in a row!

 

[colly]

Not me but a cringeworthy one from my Mrs:
Shopping in Leeds one afternoon a loooooong time ago she was waiting at a bus stop on Briggate in the days when buses actually ran where you needed them to. She was half sitting half leaning on a metal hand rail that ran around the bus stop she felt the need to break wind. A quick glance around revealed no one close by but a small group at the other end of the long bus stop. Safe then to let rip.
However letting rip produced much more of an expulsion of gas than she expected added to which the rail she was sat against amplified the sound such a degree that the rail reverberated loudly in tune. She glance and everyone at the far end of the stop turned and looked at her.
They got on the same bus and for 20 mins she had to endure their sniggers and jokey raspberry sounds.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

''Hi ya how's it going? Ain't see you in a long time''
''Yeah, I'm good thanks''
''You're pregnant as well?''
''Er...no''

Oh yes, I've done that one as well! Terrible.

I did that once too

'So, when's the baby due?'

'Err, what baby? What the f*ck are you talking about?'


........ RUN!!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Not me but a cringeworthy one from my Mrs:
Shopping in Leeds one afternoon a loooooong time ago she was waiting at a bus stop on Briggate in the days when buses actually ran where you needed them to. She was half sitting half leaning on a metal hand rail that ran around the bus stop she felt the need to break wind. A quick glance around revealed no one close by but a small group at the other end of the long bus stop. Safe then to let rip.
However letting rip produced much more of an expulsion of gas than she expected added to which the rail she was sat against amplified the sound such a degree that the rail reverberated loudly in tune. She glance and everyone at the far end of the stop turned and looked at her.
They got on the same bus and for 20 mins she had to endure their sniggers and jokey raspberry sounds.

......

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

.......

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Oh dear, the works Christmas party brings up a whole host of bad memories.

I think those are too painful to admit to on here, but I will say that I became something of a legend in my workplace afterwards. (Probably the only time I will be.)

I once got so utterly bladdered on a night out that I proceeded to tell everyone, and I mean EVERYONE about my sex life........... or more, the tragic lack of (well, from what I was told anyway, I couldn't remember a thing about it).
Thing was, they had had a pitcher of a Cocktail, and I hadn't realised just how strong it was....... and one thing led to another, and.... I ended up telling my own cocktails!


I was soooo glad when I finally finished working with the people involved, I can tell you! Although, it is the kind of mistake you only ever make once (hopefully).

 

[ColinJ]

I was young. I was drunk. I was asleep at a party ...

I started to wake up and realised that I had a warm, heavy weight on my lap. It turned out that it was actually an attractive older woman.

I didn't have a clue who she was, nor how she'd ended up wrapped round me. I didn't have a clue who the 15-odd other people in the room were. Worryingly, I wasn't even sure who I was either ...

No matter - the music was good and I felt relaxed.

Time passed. Slowly. A long-haired guy opposite me eventually got to his feet, smiled and said ...





"Colin, if you've finished fondling my wife, would you mind letting her go because we need to be getting back so our babysitter can go home!"

 

[Herr-B]

If we're including spouse-work too, I've got one.

We were walking along the high street getting nearer to a large, and available, bunch of Chuggers. The wife pulled out her phone and proceeded to have faux phone call so as not to be disturbed. Great idea I said and whipped out my phone and pretended to text. What I was actually doing was timing a phone call to my wife just right.

Her face was a picture.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Oh dear, the works Christmas party brings up a whole host of bad memories.

I think those are too painful to admit to on here, but I will say that I became something of a legend in my workplace afterwards. (Probably the only time I will be.)

Ah you've reminded me of one I'd blanked from my memory. works christmas do 10 odd years ago, the usual early doors few drinks then a curry somewhere. no bother, always a laugh but I'd had the snip a couple of days beforehand and was still not eating properly, on ibuprofen and not fully over the anaesthetic (my excuse).
Most of the 4 pint pitcher of beer we ordered each pre meal would have got me well on the way as it was but that day it went straight to my head, an unsteady lurch to a big green curry house in the chilly Manchester air finished the job. I ordered my food then tottered to the gents and spent the entire meal that the rest ate hanging onto the toilet bowl for dear life waving away all concerned enquiries (and p**s taking comments).

(from here I'm relying on eyewitness testimony to fill in some blanks)

When they'd eaten, my mates came to collect the dishevelled, mildly vomity, gently weeping me and drew straws for which one would get me to Victoria station (for the non Mancs, up a very busy commuter road and across an equally busy town centre on the Bus and Metro from Rusholme at 4.30pm) to hand me over the my Mrs.

So I'm stood up on an overcrowded rush hour bus with my now bagged up takeaway curry in hand, desperately trying to take my trousers down to show everyone the support string posing pouch underwear that I was still wearing post-op, to explain to them that I wasn't the usual type of shambling mental falling all over them as the bus juddered and lurched up Oxford Road.
My chaperone was a German lad with quite a strong accent and only a bit behind me in the tired and emotional stakes, veering between German, French and English as he tried to keep me decent and apologise to all and sundry for my antics.

We got to Victoria and he left me with my Mrs, not happy, it was her Christmas do night too, where I tripped over a guy with a homeless and hungry sign and ended up sat on him. He got a still warm Rogan Josh and Pilau Rice handed to him as an apology so not all bad. I assured her I'd be ok and she shouldn't ruin her night on my account, I'd see her later at home, so she saw (threw) me onto the train and went back to her party.

I'd sobered up enough by the time the train got me in to decide that I wasn't going to miss my Christmas do, but not enough to think it through and just go home anyway, so hopped onto another train going back to town, couldn't find my gang so found the Mrs's group (far more predictable and less mobile) and spent the night being ignored by her consoling the (gorgeous) homesick irish receptionist who'd just split up with her boyfriend but had already alienated everyone else with her moaning about it.

It took days before I was spoken to again at home and the ribbing at work continued every christmas for a few years until one of the others took my crown as drunkard to warn the newbies about by getting sacked for inappropriate sexual behaviour.

happy days.