raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Not unless you've done a bit of time travelling, I'm 58.
What's the point of Dads?
- Thread starter All uphill
- Start date
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Just as fanatical
I'm a dad , my son has toured the world with his band. Raced BMX at international level. Gave him every opportunity possible , but still feel like a shoot dad Ive abandonded him to the free woorld to find his way and he is doing just fine , dont wrap them up , I wasnt my dad was shoot too and it did me no harm 
PaulSB
Legendary Member
- Location
- Chorley, Lancashire
I know, I know......😭Well you failed miserably then.......you forgot to remind son number 3
This is some post.I was an awful dad,to my first two.Always at work and grumpy when home.I also never gave praise.A monster finished up getting divorced.,then i got married a second time and i am just so different.The pain of being a mess with the first two,never leaves me.
numbnuts
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gone over the hill and far away
My father was the same, put food on the table and he thought that was his duty over.I agree with this and my heart goes out to everyone who never had one or whose dad wasn't there or wasn't a good role model.@Saluki @numbnuts @winjim.
I put myself in that category. My dad thought his only role was to put food on the table and keep out of my mother's way. I can't remember him ever playing with me or teaching me anything. He is currently trying to make amends by helping me sort out 'my problems'. I'm grateful yet so weary as I approach my 60th birthday in 10 days' time with the family knowing it is a big birthday and making no effort to say 'How are you celebrating?' and 'Can we join in?'.
As you stated, my father never played with me at all, I remember one Christmas I was about 6 and I was given a football and boots and was told to go out and play, are you coming I said no was the answer so I played on my own, but after half an hour I had enough so came in, he said what's wrong nothing but I have no one to play with “well that's was a waste of money wasn't it”.
Yet on the other hand we had the best of everything big house about 4 acres of land new cars every 18 months and a 30 foot yacht, but looking back it was all for show to impress others, but not his family, my mother was a meek and mild person who would never speak up for me, yet I do think deep down she knew that he was wrong.
In his defence, his father was on the Titanic, he survived, but died 6 months later with consumption, he was sent to the seaman's orphanage at the age of 12, at fourteen sent to work as a bellboy on one of the large ships, so he didn't have a lot of love at home, so maybe that is why he was like he was and just maybe I should pity him.
Notafettler
Guest
My daughters always complained that I wouldn't let them have the ball when we played football.
They never let me win on the Amstrad computer game. The one with the cowboy horseridder jumping different fences. No it was alright for them to beat me every single time but not for me to win at football. I wouldn't mind but there was 3 of them.
You can't win kids!!
Accy cyclist
Legendary Member
- Location
- The hills of Accrington
My dad died 19 years ago this coming December. I used to visit his grave nearly every day,but since moving about half a mile away from the cemetery it's now about 3 or 4 times a week. I don't specifically go to mourn,more to keep it tidy. I sometimes think he asked to be buried so that he could burden me for the rest of my life. He must've known i'd be the one who ended up looking after his grave for as long as possible. Anyway,i 'got him back' by having a headstone with a cross/crucifix on it,even though he was an atheist. Well not really an atheist,more disillusioned with what he thought of as money grabbing churches. He was a decent bloke who kind of ruled us as youngsters with an iron fist,but he never hit us,more just threatened to 'belt us',but i put that down to him being strapped by his dad. He was always there for me when i got myself in trouble,be it as a troublesome teenager or when i got sacked from a few jobs. He was also a very smart looking bloke. Hardly seen without a shirt and collar,even at his job as a coach/bus builder. He never wore shorts,jeans or t-shirts. I'm going to the cemetery this aft' to check his grave is ok. I'll stand there and look at mum and dad's former house,which is about 100 yards from where he's buried and imagine him and mum still living their and the happy times we had.
Here are my mum and dad on their wedding day in March 1956.
Here are my mum and dad on their wedding day in March 1956.
OP
OP
All uphill
Still rolling along
- Location
- Somerset
Good on you, working to do better the second time.
I have done the same, and try to make amends for my failures in my first time as a parent, but the regrets can be hard to live with. I was wrapped up in paying the bills and didn't listen closely enough to my first wife who was unhappy resulting in a sudden end to the marriage.
Yellow Fang
Legendary Member
- Location
- Reading
I can't say my dad taught me many bicycle skills. My grandfather taught me how to ride a bike and mend punctures. However, when I look back, I respect how generous my father was to me. He had a terrible last year, which I would not wish on anyone.
HMS_Dave
Grand Old Lady
My old man taught me how to fish, how to maintain a bike, even if it was only very basics which i subsequently binned in my head as i piled the pounds on. I wasn't exactly like him. Football was never his thing but i grew up pretty big on it and all sports really, my dad not really that interested in it. I think really he did a good job, despite my mistakes in life, he taught me to be my own person even if i didn't realise it the time. He didn't do too badly. Especially reading some of the accounts in this thread.
My Dad was a bit of hero to us, he bought three boys up by himself, and came from a tough South London working class family, but managed to go to Grammar School and university. He became a teacher and despite his own harsh upbringing, was a very loving and kind Father. He's 85 now and still around, a real role model.
Mirror image.my word,me to a t.
Slick
Guru
My old man was a top guy who never stopped providing for us and the wider family. He was old school who knew how to look after large extended families and when it came time to retire, I was able to return the favour and my proudest moment was watching him soaking in the view when I bought him his second home. He loved it. I was delighted that he was rewarded with over twenty years of very happy retirement. Wish mum got the same reward.
