Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
I'm sure it is. I've got one just like it somewhere.
Who's the worst. "Hoarders" or those who chuck stuff away regardlessly?
- Thread starter Accy cyclist
- Start date
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I clearly remember how difficult it was, over 10 years ago, for a friend of mine when she and her (now) ex split up and for months he used to wander back to pick up bits and bobs, and sometimes to leave things, at what had been their shared home. He no longer wanted to be part of their family but continued to expect to be able to treat the house he was making no contribution towards as a space he was entitled to rather than her home. Even though they weren't in a relationship he still expected her to continue looking after him and his crap - and criticised her parenting of the children he barely saw and made no effort with. When my (now) ex and I split, I learnt from my friend's experience and said that it was important to me that he take what he wanted and then after an agreed date, that would be that. He took a while to get round to it (and there's a couple of fair-to-middling rants in that story) but eventually, helped my sister and her husband, he took his crap away.
I did confirm by email a couple of times before getting shot of a load of stuff that he hadn't taken - in a generic "I'm clearing the loft, speak now or forever hold your peace" way rather than listing an inventory - and then it all got given away/charity shopped/recycled/binned as appropriate.
It isn't about the former Mrs Accy being a hoarder or a chucker, for me. She's perfectly free to hoard or chuck her own stuff in her own home and it's nobody's business but hers. However she has no responsibility for storing an ex's possessions.
I also ended up clearing out the "kids'" rooms for my (now ex) mother-in-common-law when her marriage went pear shaped and she was marketing the former family home. Because my (now) ex's sister had left home and just left all her shoot behind. After she failed to show up as arranged for me to 'help' on the task, I emptied her room: threw away the rubbish and cleared up the 6 months old dirty pots, bagged up all the clothes and make up and tat and crap then told her if she didn't come and collect it (her then partner worked for removal firm at the time fercryingoutloud) I was going to book a taxi and do relays between her mum's house and hers and leave everything on her doorstep at her new home and her new neighbours could make ofnthat what they wanted.
She got it shifted.
Personally I'm a fan of chucking out, because being surrounded by Stuff is not an environment conducive to positive mental well-being. But I live with two hoarding children and am therefore surrounded by TPoCs and that makes finding the gumption to deal with it all challenging!
I did confirm by email a couple of times before getting shot of a load of stuff that he hadn't taken - in a generic "I'm clearing the loft, speak now or forever hold your peace" way rather than listing an inventory - and then it all got given away/charity shopped/recycled/binned as appropriate.
It isn't about the former Mrs Accy being a hoarder or a chucker, for me. She's perfectly free to hoard or chuck her own stuff in her own home and it's nobody's business but hers. However she has no responsibility for storing an ex's possessions.
I also ended up clearing out the "kids'" rooms for my (now ex) mother-in-common-law when her marriage went pear shaped and she was marketing the former family home. Because my (now) ex's sister had left home and just left all her shoot behind. After she failed to show up as arranged for me to 'help' on the task, I emptied her room: threw away the rubbish and cleared up the 6 months old dirty pots, bagged up all the clothes and make up and tat and crap then told her if she didn't come and collect it (her then partner worked for removal firm at the time fercryingoutloud) I was going to book a taxi and do relays between her mum's house and hers and leave everything on her doorstep at her new home and her new neighbours could make ofnthat what they wanted.
She got it shifted.
Personally I'm a fan of chucking out, because being surrounded by Stuff is not an environment conducive to positive mental well-being. But I live with two hoarding children and am therefore surrounded by TPoCs and that makes finding the gumption to deal with it all challenging!
pawl
Legendary Member
- Location
- Desford Leicestershire
We're do I start.Decided a few months ago I was a hoarder, so I started with the garage
Off cuts of wood Flooring and cabinet doors from a kitchen referb two years ago.Inner brake and gear cables that I had replaced a bench saw and circular saw.Gave these to a friend who is a d.y nut. I did keep an old cotter pln and a small dumbel spanner just a little nostalgia.
Next the loft. Started with the books,everything from thrillers to walking guide books,did keep the Wainright guides
Two m/c crash helmets Two greenhouse heaters.Not had a greenhouse for years.Video player recorder./player.key board to a desk top computer,
Filled a midi skip. Some of the items didn't stay long in the skip,following a visit from the night time recyclers
I am now a reformed hoarder.
Just had a thought,perhaps it has something to do with being brought up during the WW2 and the subsequent period of rationing.A period when very little was thrown away.
Off cuts of wood Flooring and cabinet doors from a kitchen referb two years ago.Inner brake and gear cables that I had replaced a bench saw and circular saw.Gave these to a friend who is a d.y nut. I did keep an old cotter pln and a small dumbel spanner just a little nostalgia.
Next the loft. Started with the books,everything from thrillers to walking guide books,did keep the Wainright guides
Two m/c crash helmets Two greenhouse heaters.Not had a greenhouse for years.Video player recorder./player.key board to a desk top computer,
Filled a midi skip. Some of the items didn't stay long in the skip,following a visit from the night time recyclers
I am now a reformed hoarder.
Just had a thought,perhaps it has something to do with being brought up during the WW2 and the subsequent period of rationing.A period when very little was thrown away.
potsy
Rambler
- Location
- My Armchair
nickyboy
Norven Mankey
- Location
- You want hills? We got hills
Mrs N insists on the house being totally devoid of clutter. However, she hates to throw stuff out so the upshot is that cupboards fill to overflowing with all sorts of things from years ago.
I don't hoard anything (and conversely am not bothered by a bit of clutter on the surfaces) so every now and then I go a bit mad when everything falls out of a cupboard and I have a proper sort out. She doesn't like it at all as, I think, it is an implicit criticism of the tidiness of the house which is a big deal for her
I don't hoard anything (and conversely am not bothered by a bit of clutter on the surfaces) so every now and then I go a bit mad when everything falls out of a cupboard and I have a proper sort out. She doesn't like it at all as, I think, it is an implicit criticism of the tidiness of the house which is a big deal for her
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Easy cheese. Un-hunh. Because cheese is usually so difficult.
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
I have a jar with IKEA bits and bobs in and a couple of jars with various screws etc in. They live in the shed, by the toolbox.
I have regular chuck outs, I don't hoard anything really. I have books, records, CDs etc. I know where my birth cert and other bits of ID are. I have a draw with random electrical bits and bobs in - charger leads, spare co-ax, plugs, fuses, insulating tape and sensible stuff. A 'useful' drawer, where batteries, torches, radiator key, passport, instruction books for the boiler etc live.
No clutter, nick-knacks or ornaments really. I don't have a flower vase even. I use a large kilner jar if I ever need one. I can't be doing with stuff everywhere. My parents had overflowing cupboards of stuff. When Hubster moved, he took everything that he needed. I've not binned anything that he's left behind (2 bikes for a start) as I'm not like that. There isn't much of his here. He will get around to taking it and sorting out somewhere for the bikes too.
I have regular chuck outs, I don't hoard anything really. I have books, records, CDs etc. I know where my birth cert and other bits of ID are. I have a draw with random electrical bits and bobs in - charger leads, spare co-ax, plugs, fuses, insulating tape and sensible stuff. A 'useful' drawer, where batteries, torches, radiator key, passport, instruction books for the boiler etc live.
No clutter, nick-knacks or ornaments really. I don't have a flower vase even. I use a large kilner jar if I ever need one. I can't be doing with stuff everywhere. My parents had overflowing cupboards of stuff. When Hubster moved, he took everything that he needed. I've not binned anything that he's left behind (2 bikes for a start) as I'm not like that. There isn't much of his here. He will get around to taking it and sorting out somewhere for the bikes too.
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
BTW, does anybody want nine hundred USB to micro USB leads? I'm flexible with pricing.....
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I used to be a hoarder and kept all sorts of random things, bus tickets, pay packet envelopes, odds and ends. But then we moved house a fair few times and carting round all that junk is expensive and time consuming.
I throw things out a lot more now, much to mr6's annoyance, because you can guarantee that thing I threw out last weekend is the one thing he needs today!! He keeps wires and plugs from electricals we haven't had in the house for decades and I darent' bin any of them.
I still have a couple of boxes of momentos that are rarely looked at but I couldn't be parted from.
In defence of Accy's ex, I'd have done the same with anything that was left behind after he moved out, assuming it was no longer wanted by him and certainly of no use to me.
Children's belongings are safe here for about a year after they've moved out and then I give them a couple of chances to collect and then bin the lot. We currently have a cupboard full of retro computer games and consoles that I'm itching to be rid of but, technically, son still lives here so I'm not allowed. Yet!
I throw things out a lot more now, much to mr6's annoyance, because you can guarantee that thing I threw out last weekend is the one thing he needs today!! He keeps wires and plugs from electricals we haven't had in the house for decades and I darent' bin any of them.
I still have a couple of boxes of momentos that are rarely looked at but I couldn't be parted from.
In defence of Accy's ex, I'd have done the same with anything that was left behind after he moved out, assuming it was no longer wanted by him and certainly of no use to me.
Children's belongings are safe here for about a year after they've moved out and then I give them a couple of chances to collect and then bin the lot. We currently have a cupboard full of retro computer games and consoles that I'm itching to be rid of but, technically, son still lives here so I'm not allowed. Yet!
- Location
- Inside my skull
The worst are those who hoard their stuff in some one elses property. That is just not on.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
My elderly father is a terrible hoarder; very close to the level of some of the council inspector TV shows. It's not good, especially now he's almost filled his equally elderly, and now far from well, partner''s house with rubbish. We did gang up on him and did a couple of car loads to the tip. Examples of stuff kept: a shower room full of sacks of empty pringles tubes, sacks and sacks of letters which though mostly containing double glazing flyers and the like also contain cheques, important paperwork so you have to check each sheet. He gets really distressed as you throw even an empty cornflakes box away. Trouble is you can't leave it as the house unhiegenic and a fire hazzard, yet it's a bit scene chucking out one broken item. There's plenty of things that he actually needs help with yet it's impossible with all the crap in the way. It's not just age as he's basically always been like this. Finally made a little progress now by ganging up and basically scaring him that the health people will not let his partner home if she ends up in hospital, as is increasingly likely. He's otheriwise a good and kind man acting as the sole carer for an unwell other 90 year old, but the hoarding is beyond reason and makes it hard to do even basic help, which is clearly needed.
Anyhow I have seen the warnings ao whilst I do have too much stuff I am prepared to dump stuff that isn't of use. I do find it hard to bin stuff that isn't actually broken though
Anyhow I have seen the warnings ao whilst I do have too much stuff I am prepared to dump stuff that isn't of use. I do find it hard to bin stuff that isn't actually broken though
That sounds really tough, @Profpointy. You're right to focus on the possibility of them not letting his partner home. The sad fact is that the same would apply to him were he to have a sudden illness like a stroke.
