Winning the lottery

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Yellow Fang, 16 May 2019.

  1. Yellow Fang

    Yellow Fang Guru

    I've just had an idea what I'd do if I somehow acquired a lot of money. I'd rent an office in one of those office buildings and pretend to be the boss of a small company. I'd hire a receptionist/secretary to sit at a desk before the door. I'd spend my time thinking of tasks for her do so that she doesn't know she's not working for a real company.
  2. CarlP

    CarlP There’s no need to live in a pit of doom

    Genius that. No question about it.
    Fnaar, Yellow Fang and Beebo like this.
  3. meta lon

    meta lon Guru

    You could have a sex worker for a secretary, then you could be a perverted sex pest while discussing imaginary spread sheets..
    Fnaar and Charlotte Alice Button like this.
  4. OP
    Yellow Fang

    Yellow Fang Guru

    Oh no, I wouldn't do that. I'd probably had to consult a business advisor to know what a small company should be doing. I might have to hire actors to pretend to be clients. It's not just the receptionist I'd want to impress; it's all the other small business staff in the building.
    meta lon and Fnaar like this.
  5. StuAff

    StuAff Silencing his legs regularly

    Keith Waterhouse, Office Life. Same idea on a rather larger scale.....
    Fnaar likes this.
  6. Seevio

    Seevio Über Member

    South Glos
    I've always maintained that anyone who says they have more money than they know what to do with has no imagination.
  7. OP
    Yellow Fang

    Yellow Fang Guru

    Having looked it up on the internet, I am sure I saw the film. It had Jenny Agutter in it :smile:
    I remember the reveal was that the government had calculated it was marginally better for the economy to employ people to do nothing useful than to let them be unemployed.
    There is also Reyholm Industries in the IT Crowd. No one is sure quite what they do, but they seem to do quite a lot. Actually it strikes me they're a company a bit like Foster Wheeler, who do all sorts of massive engineering and construction projects, so maybe that's not a good example.
    My motive is that I've never been a boss. I've always been an employee. I'd go to my office in my suit and tie and tell the reception/secretary to hold my calls for an hour. I think I'd only employ her part time. In the afternoons I'd say I had clients to meet and then do something else. I'm not sure what yet.
    raleighnut, Fnaar and Beebo like this.
  8. StuAff

    StuAff Silencing his legs regularly

    BBC adaptation. JA was indeed in it, watched it myself. And some years later read the book.
  9. PaulSB

    PaulSB Legendary Member

    I can't even begin to understand why. I'd want to travel, have a better bike, help my kids buy houses. What's the point in sitting in an office all day? It's what most people are trying to escape.

    I realise I'm probably being to literal but it strikes me as the complete opposite!
    lane likes this.
  10. Lozz360

    Lozz360 Senior Member

    Why not start a real business with your money? That way you wouldn’t be wasting yours and other people’s time. If the business made a loss it shouldn’t matter as you would lose/spend money on the pretend business anyway.
  11. Vantage

    Vantage The dogs chew toy

    I'd buy me a house. With a shed in the back garden to do my woodworking.
    I'd also hire one of those naked cleaning ladies to polish my bike.
    classic33 and Fnaar like this.
  12. postman

    postman Legendary Member

    Meanwood ,Leeds
    I would tell nobody.I would then get the builders in and do a great deal of work on the house.We live in a wonderful street,and i would not want to move.We look out on to a small wooded area which we own,it is a mass of different shades of green at the moment.It is also a quiet street,and you cannot put a price on that.It's handy for shops and supermarkets.I would travel and wine and dine well.As i said i would tell nobody.Anyway got to go now,the butler says the bath water is just at the right temperature.Must be dressed before the builders arrive.
    classic33, tyred, Cuchilo and 6 others like this.
  13. Diogenes

    Diogenes Opinions, schminions

    I live at the top of a steep hill, which rather puts me off doing long cycle rides so I'd demolish the house, level the hill then re-build the house so I could get more cycling in.
    FishFright, classic33, lane and 3 others like this.
  14. Charlotte Alice Button

    Charlotte Alice Button Specialized Super Fan

    Ashford, Kent
    LOVE A SPREADSHEET......Take that idea to Dragon's Den :girl::shy:
    classic33, meta lon and Fnaar like this.
  15. Electric_Andy

    Electric_Andy Heavy Metal Fan

    I'd buy a modest house, with a huge garage and a shed which I'd turn into a workshop. Spend a few grand on some nice workshop tools, then I'd be happy.

    I saw a guy in Austin TX on Youtube who builds bikes. His workshop was huge - there was a classic muscle car in the corner and it barely took up any room. I have to step over various tools and 2 bikes just to reach a light switch....
    further, postman and raleighnut like this.
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