Work collegues talking rubbish

[Dan_h]

I cycle in every day.

I enter the office in cycling clothes and carrying my helmet every day.

My boss says "Cycled in today Hip Priest?" every day.

Yup, I get this as well! I am not sure why people ask as I cycle in every day!

I also get "Cor, I can see you coming!" when I turn up with my night vision jacket on, which is mostly the point of it

 

[chillyuk]

You guys almost make me miss work. I do miss the banter with my colleagues.

 

[Jezston]

I don't get any such comments from my colleagues

But then I work for a computer games company and most of the people there dress like weirdos anyway.

 

[Bicycle]

Ulp... This is a sensitive one...

I am a middle-aged man, slightly short for my weight and no longer the fabulous looker I never was...

But I make an effort and I try to ride off all the cake I eat. I eat a lot of cake.

A few years ago, I'd come to my desk in a large, open-plan office before going down to the showers. I was in a bright pink maglia rosa thing and tights.

A woman maybe five years my senior with whom I worked came up and said loudly in front of my team "My god! There is an age beyond which lycra on a is not a good look on men".

Of course, she was right, but it sounded quite nasty when she said it. I bit my tongue and smiled.

After she'd had her gloat and wandered off, the whole team looked at me and asked why I hadn't said anything about how she might look in lycra.

She is maybe 5' 2" and notably broad in the beam. Also, one of those people who just doesn't get it on office wear, so still looks like a squashed Princess Diana doll wannabe in 2011. I can only write this acidly because of anonymity.

First, she was right. Lycra on men my age is a worry.

Secondly, whatever I'd said could have been deeply hurtful even if I'd meant it as a joke.

I really am not pretty in lycra, but she was hurling stones from a greenhouse. It did make me feel better that the whole of my team rather took against her after that. Aren't I horrid to admit that?

There are times when you could quite justifiably destroy someone's self-esteem with a nasty, vicious retort... but I'm really glad I didn't. Out loud.

 

[MacB]

water off a ducks back here even my kids rib me, generally along the lines of Mexican wrestler gags, I blame the film Nacho Libre - a term I often hear from them

 

[StuartG]

My comfort is more important than my looks. Must be right, my mirror agrees ...

 

[BorderReiver]

@ Hip Priest- if you cycle in every day why do you need a car park pass?

 

[Dan_h]

One of my (male) colleges once turned up wearing lycra without the build for it. Our boss at the time was this gay guy, he took one look at my mate (it WAS my mate honest!!!) and said "Go and get changed quick... you are turning me straight!"... it had the whole office in stitches

 

[Hip Priest]

@ Hip Priest- if you cycle in every day why do you need a car park pass?

So I can park my bike in the underground car park and not the street.

 

[sabian92]

It's always the people who are overweight, smoke 60 a day and are a militant car driver that tend to give the most stick. It's best to ignore it although some people are too stupid to even bother replying to.

A scally yoof (sadly, most of my college is made of of these lads in trackies doing construction or something similar) told me that my "bike was shoot because it had bags on the back and little tyres" (Panniers and 700c x 25 wheels, I commute on a Carerra Virtuoso with a rack on the back) and he could cream me on the flat every time on his "boss bike with fat wheels and suspension" (scally on a £99 halford's special, basically). He rides on the pavement as well.

 

[cjb]

I only bike commute occasionally, but I came into work one day in full lycra, hi-viz top and helmet and one of the office girls asked: "Did you come on your bike?"

 

[ianrauk]

The usual question people in my work complex ask is "How far do you cycle to work?".
When i say 18 miles you can see the horror in their faces.

"What? Every day?" Yep, and back too...
"In the rain?" Yep in the rain...
"With all that traffic?" Yep...
"You're mad!" Yep....
"I could never do that" I know...

 

[4F]

I only bike commute occasionally, but I came into work one day in full lycra, hi-viz top and helmet and one of the office girls asked: "Did you come on your bike?"

And the best reply to this is "What makes you think that ?"

 

[4F]

The same driver also holds me responsible for all crimes (real or imaginary) committed by cyclists, until one day I used the old Cycling Today reply. After a rant about a cyclist who was not wearing a helmet and asking me why!



Look at their shoes and point to them then in a clear voice :

Me: "You know Harold Shipman wore black lace up shoes?"

Them:"What"

Me: " Well if by riding a bike I am responsible for the actions of another cyclist - by wearing those shoes you must be responsible for the actions of a mass murderer?"

Them: "Of course not"

Me: ".. and there rests my case!"

Nice one, I think I am going to save this one and use in it the future

 

[benb]

The same driver also holds me responsible for all crimes (real or imaginary) committed by cyclists, until one day I used the old Cycling Today reply. After a rant about a cyclist who was not wearing a helmet and asking me why!



Look at their shoes and point to them then in a clear voice :

Me: "You know Harold Shipman wore black lace up shoes?"

Them:"What"

Me: " Well if by riding a bike I am responsible for the actions of another cyclist - by wearing those shoes you must be responsible for the actions of a mass murderer?"

Them: "Of course not"

Me: ".. and there rests my case!"

Nice one, I think I am going to save this one and use in it the future

Nice one. If they have a tache, you can use the same argument but with Hitler. That's particularly effective if they are a woman.