Worlds worst dad jokes.

[PeteXXX]

Aladin has been banned from the Magic Carpet Race..

Apparently, he was using performance enhancing rugs!

😁

 

[lenfield]

From Guardian's 'ten best jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe':

'to the low life who stole my credit card and spent
loads on ancestry.com...- you know who you are !'

To the person who stole my anti-depressants,
I hope you're happy now.

 

[lenfield]

My wife shouted at me, she said I was lazy. I didn't even do anything.

 

[lenfield]

I've just split-up with my girlfriend because she was obsessed with tennis. Love meant nothing to her.

 

[PeteXXX]

I bought a vinyl record yesterday called "Sounds Wasps make".

When I got home and played it, I said to myself, "This doesn't sound anything like wasps."

Then I realised, I was playing the bee side...

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. Too much sax and violins.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I wasn’t that hungry, so I just ate a kid’s meal at McDonald's. His mother was furious.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

How do you know when a joke is a dad joke.

It becomes apparent.

 

[Sharky]

How do you know when a joke is a dad joke.

It becomes apparent.

That really does qualify to be on this thread.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

 

[Dogtrousers]

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

 

[Beebo]

I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. Too much sax and violins.

Point of order, a saxophone isn’t an orchestral instrument. 😀

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Point of order, a saxophone isn’t an orchestral instrument. 😀

https://www.saxorchestra.co.uk/

 

[Alex321]

Point of order, a saxophone isn’t an orchestral instrument. 😀

It is nowadays, though there used to be a reluctance to include them.
https://www.gear4music.com/blog/instruments-of-the-orchestra/

Saxophones are a whole family of instruments in themselves. They’re all fundamentally similar, though. Saxophones were traditionally not used in orchestral music due to misconceptions about them “not blending” with the other instruments. However, modern compositions often include saxophones.

Glazunov wrote a concerto for saxophone which is a popular piece for saxophonists.

 

[Beebo]

I’m not sure my kids would get the reference, but it made me laugh.


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