Worlds worst dad jokes.

[glasgowcyclist]

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know Y.

 

[lenfield]

What do you call a hippy's wife?
Mississippi.

 

[Mr Celine]

"Doctor, I can't stop making piglet noises."

"How long has this been going on for?"

"Oh, about threEEE WEEEEEKs!"

 

[Ming the Merciless]

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

 

[ktmbiker58]

Question: What is the worlds most dangerous insect?

Answer: The Hepatitis Bee

 

[Hover Fly]

The left handlers thread reminded me of another gem from my father:
Pa, Which hand do you wipe your bum with?
Me, The left.
Pa, Well use toilet paper in future, you dirty little so and so.

 

[Aescott]

What's the name of the man who sleeps with a tiger in his bed?

Claude Balls

 

[Dogtrousers]

What do you call a dog, in a pile of leaves, with a car on its head.

Jack Russell

 

[PeteXXX]

What do you play with a Wombat?





Wom.. 👍

 

[Sharky]

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I used to be a werewolf but I’m alright nowooOOOoooh!

 

[Sharky]

I used to be a narcissist, but now I'm perfect

 

[mistyoptic]

I used to be a narcissist, but now I'm perfect

I’d be perfect if I wasn’t so modest

 

[Webbo2]

Oedipus ring your mother.

 

[lenfield]

A man walked into a bar and asked for a double-entendre.
The barmaid gave him one.