I should tell you about the blocked soil pipe story, after dinner.
The toilet at the back of the house, first floor, was blocked. Nothing was going down the pan and the last poo was backed up. I needed to investigate and fix it.
Attempting to plunge the toilet had no effect and so I figured the PVC soil stack outside must have been blocked. It was old and was due to be changed and so some destructive investigation was in order.
Up the ladder I went.
I managed to pull the vent off the stack just above the toilet branch and it was full of poo. So that got scooped out and thrown down into the garden.
The T shaped branch was pulled off leading to the toilet emptying itself straight out of the hole in the wall and across the garden, interesting effect it made too. Anyway, no point cleaning it up until the pipe was cleared.
The pipe was still full of poo and bits of paper, and fairly solid, so not knowing how far down the pipe it went I though I would drill some test holes.
Out came the DeWalt and a 6mm drill bit.
First hole, near the top, had poo in it.
The next hole had poo in it.
A bit further down and there was still poo.
The drill was getting a bit mucky at this stage.
I went all out and drilled a hole at the bottom of the stack pipe, just above ground level.
It was still coming out covered in poo.
Hmmmmm, Out comes the pick axe and the digging spade. Start digging where the pipe went into the ground.
The PVC pipe joined onto a clay pipe. Maybe it would be easier to just pull the PVC pipe out.
Tug, tug, tug and out it came.
Shluurrrpppp! out came 10 feet of poo!
OK, good thing I had my wellies. Maybe it would have been better if I wore them!
Shovel all the poo into a pile elsewhere in the garden, I'll sort it out later.
The clay pipe is full of poo. A few handfuls were scooped out and it seemed to go around the bend.
Keep digging and follow the pipe along the garden.
Get wheel barrow and move some of the spoil to the middle of the garden.
Dig a bit more.
Ah ha! The clay pipe is broken!
Should be easy now.
Dig out around the clay pipe with the pick and clear some clear space around the break so I have room to fix it.
Lump hammer to smash the pipe up.
Crack! Splat! Poo!
Opps!
Crack! Splat! Poo!
Hmmm. Maybe lift the whole pipe out horizontally.
Places pipe on spoil heap, dig out the broken bits and the poo!
A quick rummage in the rest of the pipe and it is still full of poo!
Well, the end of the pip is broken so keep breaking it until the next joint and....
...more poo!
OK, getting annoyed now.
Dig some more of the pipe out.
The trench is now over two metres long and nearly a meter deep! so I have to dig out space to stand in as well. The spoil heap grows menacingly in the middle of the garden. I give up putting the poo in a different pile and it all ends up in the same place on the spoil heap.
I eventually find the end of the clay pipe, where it joins an elbow and heads downwards. So, simple, remove the elbow and see if the poo is still there.
Yep!
Transport last metre of clay pipe and elbow, full of poo, to the spoil heap.
Hmmm, ok, at some point I will need clear space to fix the pipe. No point digging down anyway as the main drain is about 6 metres further down.
Right start digging out a crater around the stump of pipe.
Spoil heap grows and there are little poo and dirt land slides back into the crater.
Back up to the surface and start moving the spoil heap further along the garden.
Right how to get the poo out of the pipe?
First, go for a shower. Then head out to the builder's merchants to buy a shoulder length pair of rubber gloves.
Return and study the problem. A cone shaped crater next to a spoil heap mound that is land sliding down to the bottom where there is a stump of clay pipe full of poo.
Solution crouch head down in the hole and scoop out poo, with arm in shoulder length glove.
Calls ex wife, as it is her poo, and get her to do it!
Ex wife agree and starts scooping out poo.
Elbow deep,
shoulder deep,
face down in the dirt deep,
Hmmm, still full of poo!
Plan B.
Find a length of 40mm waste pipe, about 1.5m long. Shove pipe down into the poo, place hand over the end, pull out a pipe full of poo. Still not reached the end of it yet.
Go and find a 3m length of pipe, and a ladder!
Push pipe down into the poo, place hand over the end of the pipe and start pulling it up, then start climbing the ladder until the pipe comes out.
Pipe pops out the poo and.....
Shhluuuurrrrrrrrp whooommmmmph! Poo gone!
Now I have a stinking garden with a long deep trench, a 3metre diameter, 1.5metre deep crater, and a mound of dirt and poo to match.
Just need another shower and another trip to the builder's merchants. Then order a skip.
