You are controller of TV....

[ComedyPilot]

...what would you have as a programme list?

Me, travel programs, language courses, cooking, adventure programs, sports (not F'ball, Rugby, Tennis or Golf).

And most important, a Red Button option that, whenever someone starts bitching or backstabbing someone, or a programme starts a 'popularity' contest, you press the red button and their TV career is over forever.

 

[Wigsie]

Love the red button concept...

Early mornings would be taken up by fishing programs, then a spot of varied sports (anything other than cricket), a 4 hour dead zone around midday so we can all go and do something then a decent family movie in the afternoon. Top Gear and Bear Grylls before the kids bedtime (as its they are currently 8pm and they go to bed when it starts.... there is always tears). In the evening couple of decent comedy shows then a movie before bed.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Love the red button concept...

Early mornings would be taken up by fishing programs, then a spot of varied sports (anything other than cricket), a 4 hour dead zone around midday so we can all go and do something then a decent family movie in the afternoon. Top Gear and Bear Grylls before the kids bedtime (as its they are currently 8pm and they go to bed when it starts.... there is always tears). In the evening couple of decent comedy shows then a movie before bed.

 

[Wigsie]

Does anyone actually watch programmes live any more? (Apart from sports obviously)

I record everything and watch it when I want. And it means you can jump the stupid adverts as well.

Me! I am old skool!

Only because I paid for a year of Sky tv in advance 4 years ago and they have not charged us a penny since... ssssssh!

 

[accountantpete]

Charge people for what they want to see not what someone thinks they want to see.

 

[marinyork]

I'd shoot Top Gear in HD and deport the current head of BBC HD for having to ask why/what it was about Top Gear that people wanted to see it in HD. I'd have things like Oceans, South Pacific, Yellowstone, Fossil Detectives given a much higher prominence in the schedules. I'd get news back to basics, instead of Journalists talking about themselves. I'd get iPlayer launched on Freesat sooner.

I'd have a clear out of Saturday Night tv on BBC1 and ITV1. Infact I would have a clearout to try and reduce channel numbers as the picture quality on many is dreadful. It'd nice to be able to get cycling on ITV4 not on a pixelated red button service.

 

[byegad]

I'd ditch all of the soaps and invest in good quality drama and sitcoms. Football, cricket would be on pay for view as the numpties will pay for it. Any presenter treating the audience as a moron would be sacked.
Jonafon Woss would be the big draw. Just imagine the viewing figures as he is publicly executed!

 

[just jim]

The Factory Programme: Live.

Every day the crew visits some kind of factory - small or large and we see how it's all made.

Series 1:

Shower Curtain Rings
Flags
Computer Sceen Wipes
Brooks saddles
Ukuleles
Medium Density Fibreboard
Gliders
Pop Up Books


Kate Humble and Vic Reeves present.

The programme last the entire day, clocking off at 5. Then we go to closedown.

 

[PaulB]

If I'm controller of TV, it's goodbye to all cookery programmes, Big-Brother-type shoot, antwacky programmes and we're having MUCH less news but more factual, documentary and history programmes. We're having more stuff about important issues which inform and entertain. This will signal the end of the mainstream TV careers of the likes of Noel Edmonds and Nick Knowles. Gok Wan and all the other heteros who pretend to be gay but aren't, don't let the door slam you on the arse. Davina McCall, Eamon Holmes, Jeremy Clarkson and Alan Carr- Not Needed on Board. Other talentless tossers such as Jeremy Kyle, Matthew Wright, Trisha and all that lot, the dole queue beckons. There's a welcome return for World in Action and a TV version of Brain of Britain. There's a new series called "Cycling around Britain" in which we follow several people, from outright beginners to established riders as they take on challenges such as Le-JoG, C2C, off-road riding in the Scottish Highlands, first sportives and even first ten-miles rides for the newbies. There'll be a Whistle-Test type show twice a week presented by shared presenters who know what they're talking about such as Jules Holland, Mark Radcliffe and Stewart McConie.

Welcome to the brave new (old) world of TV!

 

[alecstilleyedye]

i'd be happy banning any show with 'celebrity' in the title…

 

[Riverman]

Celebrity wet t-shirt contest?

 

[purplepolly]

Early mornings would be taken up by fishing programs,

Shouldn't that be for late evening? In the mornings people need something to wake them up

 

[dellzeqq]

I'd run 'Cash in the Attic' repeats, with a whole load of 'Missing Live' repeats. Every day.

 

[Wigsie]

Shouldn't that be for late evening? In the mornings people need something to wake them up

Nonsense! I am in charge and I don't like to be woken up too quickly...

 

[PaulB]

i'd be happy banning any show with 'celebrity' in the title…

Good shout.