You gotta be joking!!!

CotterPin

Senior Member
Location
London
... were the words uttered in the wonderful tones of Estuary English of a cyclist who suddenly found herself stranded in the middle of the junction at Bank in the City of London last night.

She was coming from the east and had decided to jump the lights - she was about to get an object lesson in why that that's not a good idea. I was cycling north and had just set off as my lights had changed when we encountered each other in the middle.

She ground to a halt bang slap in the middle of junction uttering the immortal phrase above. I am afraid I just carried on as I had a whole load of traffic on my tail so I have no idea how she got out of it. I did, however, hear a few car horns as I disappeared up the road.
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
CotterPin said:
... were the words uttered in the wonderful tones of Estuary English of a cyclist who suddenly found herself stranded in the middle of the junction at Bank in the City of London last night.

She was coming from the east and had decided to jump the lights - she was about to get an object lesson in why that that's not a good idea. I was cycling north and had just set off as my lights had changed when we encountered each other in the middle.

She ground to a halt bang slap in the middle of junction uttering the immortal phrase above. I am afraid I just carried on as I had a whole load of traffic on my tail so I have no idea how she got out of it. I did, however, hear a few car horns as I disappeared up the road.
I hope she's still stranded there... Unhurt, but stranded. Do you think she's learnt a lesson?
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Tynan said:
ironed flat into the tarmac is fine by me
Stranded is funnier. She'll eventually have to call the coastguard to winch her out.. I suppose she could order a pizza delivery to keep her going....:wacko:
 
OP
CotterPin

CotterPin

Senior Member
Location
London
When I went through this morning she wasn't there so I could only presume that somehow she had extricated herself. Not quite sure how, though. It's a mammoth junction with five roads converging and once the traffic has started flowing not even Moses could part them.
 
Was she a looker? If so you could have stopped the traffic for her and gained her gratitude. That way she would have been receptive to your request for her phone number, obviously she would wish to thank you by buying you a drink later.

You could have developed a deep and meaningful relationship which once established would have allowed you to broach the question of red light jumping without fear of your relationship breaking up. You could have got married, had kids and taught them the rights and wrongs of cycling safely. Thus not only would you have converted this young lady into a safe and competent cyclist, you would have created several more safe cyclists in the process, thus helping to make our roads safer for everyone, as they would lead by example.

Of course if she was a minger you did the right thing! :wacko:
 

Wolf04

New Member
Location
Wallsend on Tyne
magnatom said:
Was she a looker? If so you could have stopped the traffic for her and gained her gratitude. That way she would have been receptive to your request for her phone number, obviously she would wish to thank you by buying you a drink later.

You could have developed a deep and meaningful relationship which once established would have allowed you to broach the question of red light jumping without fear of your relationship breaking up. You could have got married, had kids and taught them the rights and wrongs of cycling safely. Thus not only would you have converted this young lady into a safe and competent cyclist, you would have created several more safe cyclists in the process, thus helping to make our roads safer for everyone, as they would lead by example.

Of course if she was a minger you did the right thing! :wacko:
Urrrgh falling for a RLJer how do you sleep at night :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
 

Twenty Inch

New Member
Location
Behind a desk
I know that junction - 'tis a mighty vortex of swirling steel, and a brave or foolhardy lass who jumps a red light there, Jim lad. Aarr.

Gar. My pirate glands be playin' up agin.
 

gambatte

Middle of the pack...
Location
S Yorks
Twenty Inch said:
Gar. My pirate glands be playin' up agin.
Don't worry, it all helps to fight global warming
 
OP
CotterPin

CotterPin

Senior Member
Location
London
Arch said:
Stranded is funnier. She'll eventually have to call the coastguard to winch her out.. I suppose she could order a pizza delivery to keep her going....:wacko:
Actually Arch,

You've just reminded me of that strange book by JG Ballard about a guy who crashes his car off the Westway and can't escape from the strange wasteland between the roads.

A very disturbing book.

Magnatom - she bore a passing resemblence to Victoria Beckham (in the rough - and god knows how rough Ms Beckham looks already) so I am afraid there was no chance of your fantasy coming true.
 
The trouble is every body is in such a rush to save a few seconds that's why we have rljers....that is why some motorists and van drivers drive dangerously.rljers are not just in this country as I have witnessed although I dont know how all this rljer malarkey started.It was just there one day like Eamonn Holmes.

Hopefully she learned a very valuable lesson.
 

John the Monkey

Frivolous Cyclist
Location
Crewe
CotterPin said:
You've just reminded me of that strange book by JG Ballard about a guy who crashes his car off the Westway and can't escape from the strange wasteland between the roads.
"Concrete Island"

A 35-year-old architect is driving home from his London office when his car swerves and crashes onto a traffic island lying below three converging motorways. Uninjured, he climbs the embankment to seek help, but no one will stop for him and he is trapped on the island, where he remains.

ISBN: 009933481X, £6 ish on Amazon currently.
 

yenrod

Guest
CarDrivers help - you gotta be joking...they'd rather kill ya than help: and if any jerk replies saying 'well you cant tar everyone with the same brush... - I wouldnt be surprised if anyone did.
 

Tynan

Veteran
Location
e4
them concrete wastelands are odd

we had a courier once returning an original picture of Elvis, the actual original print, more or less irreplaceable, we'd scanned it maximum care on pain of death

the courier returning it had it fly out of his bag and over the side of the Westway into the shanty towns below

they never did find it despite offering rewards to the people of the Westway
 
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