You know you're not in London when.....

[slowmotion]

...when the local paper's headlines are absolutely gripping....

 

[screenman]

When the phone box is now a library, also packing a defibrillator.

 

[screenman]

When you can get into the local tip at the weekend without queuing.

 

[Dirk]

When you can get into the local tip at the weekend without queuing.

When the guys at your local tip are actually cheery and helpful.

 

[damj]

There's a Londoner in every street in the northern towns taking advantage of the cheaper houses and better services

 

[screenman]

There's a Londoner in every street in the northern towns taking advantage of the cheaper houses and better services

Just as well seeing as London is full of northerners.

 

[pjd57]

Why the f#@# would you even want to be in London when there are so many nice places you can visit instead

 

[screenman]

Why the f#@# would you even want to be in London when there are so many nice places you can visit instead

I can think of plenty of reasons to live there.

 

[screenman]

The roads have 20 feet deep dykes on either side,

 

[pjd57]

The roads have 20 feet deep dykes on either side,

To keep people in or out ?

 

[screenman]

To keep people in or out ?

It is not a good idea to go into them.

 

[Dirk]

There's a Londoner in every street in the northern towns taking advantage of the cheaper houses and better services

Not just northern towns.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

When you can go into a pub and not find the bar five deep with people elbowing you to get served next.

 

[damj]

Should we get on to Cardiff next?

 

[Jenkins]

When buying a pint costs more than buying one in London