You know you're not in London when.....

[Drago]

Youre not paying a congestion charge.

 

[jefmcg]

You order steak and the waitress asks if you want ketchup

That's because they think you are Donald Trump

 

[Drago]

It'll all be underwater soon anyway.

 

[Tim Hall]

I thought Norfolk was in London?

I was working in Naarfolk, in the Broads near Yarmouth, a couple of years back.
"Where you from, boi?" asked one of the blokes I was working with.
"Near Gatwick"
'Blimey. We gets a nosebleed if we go beyond Naaarich."

 

[Welsh wheels]

After two weeks staying in NotLondon:

1: You might as well try to pay with a dead trout than an Amex card
2: You order steak and the waitress asks if you want ketchup or mayonnaise
3: It takes 17 years for the 4 cars ahead of you to get onto the roundabout.

This thread is only for the well heeled and educated London classes. Shaun has written some code so no proletarians from the north are able to contribute ensuring this thread is kept accurate and civilised.

So please add to my list above.

You feel an overwhelming sense of happiness flood your soul

 

[TVC]

I was working in Naarfolk, in the Broads near Yarmouth, a couple of years back.
"Where you from, boi?" asked one of the blokes I was working with.
"Near Gatwick"
'Blimey. We gets a nosebleed if we go beyond Naaarich."

Two Naarfolk types:

"Oi been to Bury St Edmunds"

"Really? Oi didn even know E were dead"

 

[jefmcg]

"I come to Bury St Edmunds, not to praise him. "

 

[stephec]

3: It takes 17 years for the 4 cars ahead of you to get onto the roundabout.

Surely that's still faster than most central London traffic?

 

[stephec]

You can stand still on either side of an escalator without being moaned at.

 

[biggs682]

You breathe in fresh air

 

[nickyboy]

I agree. I'd go to live in Paris tomorrow, I'd not live in London for a gold watch and large pension!

I suspect a large pension would be insufficient for living in London. And I wouldn't rate your chances of hanging onto that gold watch either

 

[Markymark]

You can stand still on either side of an escalator without being moaned at.

Why? Why would you do that? It's like wanting to live in a place where punching kittens in the face is acceptable.

 

[Dirk]

When you can walk through a town centre and not see or hear anyone 'foreign'.*





*Someone had to address the elephant in the room.

 

[Markymark]

When you can walk through a town centre and not see or hear anyone 'foreign'.*





*Someone had to address the elephant in the room.

The elephant being the dirty fat racist?

 

[Dirk]

The elephant being the dirty fat racist?

Bingo!