Your Worst Date Stories
- Thread starter JtB
- Start date
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jefmcg
Guru
I said it's creepy unless you heard it from her. So, you heard it from her, so not creepy.
Or also from the BBC today, LINKY
On this, I really can't get my head round it. Whose first thought when you've done a big jobby that won't flush is "I know, I'll fish it out with my hands and throw it out the window"?
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
Not mine, but the thread can be closed after this beauty:
https://www.amazon.com/review/R30I8VJFBDG6TD
https://www.amazon.com/review/R30I8VJFBDG6TD
Rooster1
I was right about that saddle
My first proper date was a week away, I got so stressed out that my face decided to grow various sized spots ranging from small ones to giant ones.
On the night I looked like a pizza and I made a complete tit of myself by being awkward and generally rubbish.
She on the other hand was stunning, mature and confident - oh and she brought a friend along so I felt totally outnumbered.
Damn it, suffice to say she got away.
On the night I looked like a pizza and I made a complete tit of myself by being awkward and generally rubbish.
She on the other hand was stunning, mature and confident - oh and she brought a friend along so I felt totally outnumbered.
Damn it, suffice to say she got away.
OP
OP
JtB
Prepare a way for the Lord
- Location
- North Hampshire
I don't have a "worst date story", just a "most complex date story" - far too complex to explain the background. It was our first date and we were travelling on a bus along the northern Spanish coastline with me unable to speak a word of Spanish and my lovely date unable to speak a word of English. So clearly the conversation was't flowing, that was until we passed a small fishing port and I suddenly remembered one of the very few Spanish phrases I knew which translated into something like "Carlos is a fisherman and paints his boat on the beach". Well that was certainly some icebreaker because we're still together 34 years later.
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
I was a young man, teaching English in Spain. I now speak very good Spanish, but at that time it was rudimentary. I had the hots for one of my adult students, and invited her out for a drink. She turned up with her boyfriend 
. A rather excruciating evening as I remember, but...
. A rather excruciating evening as I remember, but...
biggs682
Touch it up and ride it
- Location
- Northamptonshire
went out with 2 sisters on a blind date with a mate , half way through the night we both decided that we ought to swap sisters and boy did the evening improve for me
not so sure what happened to my mate and the other sister though
not so sure what happened to my mate and the other sister though
Cheddar George
oober member
- Location
- Location: Location
It was always the cinema for a first date, unfortunately due to a late bus and a limited choice we ended up buying tickets to watch Jodie Foster in "The Accused". Uncomfortable viewing for a first date.
I would love to say that she became the current Mrs George and that we look back and laugh at our youthful stupidity ........ but she didn't and we don't.
I would love to say that she became the current Mrs George and that we look back and laugh at our youthful stupidity ........ but she didn't and we don't.
Think I posted this before.....
It would have been 1986 or 1987.
I brought a women home with me that I'd met in a nightclub, my wacky woman radar was twitching so nothing happened and I ordered a taxi for her. She was not happy about this, I was pleased she was gone.
Maybe a week or so later, I got call at work put though to me, it was the woman, she wanted to return the £5 taxi fare to me and for us to have a drink, I kept refusing and telling her to forget about it, but she was really persistent and with that, and needing to work, I agreed she could drop it off whenever. After putting the phone down I got worried, how the hell did she know my work number? This was pre-mobile phones and internet, she must have searched for my house and then taken the number from my works van that I had at the time, the wacky woman alarm bells were well ringing.
A few days later, early evening, there was knock at my door, stood there was a tall gorgeous looking blonde, wearing nothing but a short (very) stretch fit, black party dress and high heels. She entered and after a few pleasantries I accepted the £5, at this point, she walked past me, dropped down and started climbing the stairs on all fours, wiggling her bot as she climbed them, I quickly observed that she wasn't wearing any undies. Thus, started an internal wrangling between my brain and curiosity from below.
For once, common sense won out, my wacky women radar was now fully locked on, but what to do? I went upstairs and, as I suspected, not being that slow, she was already in my bed. I told her nothing was going to happen and I wanted her to leave, after having the same conversation several times............. she went bananas. She started hurling things at me, screaming abuse and generally going apeshit. I went downstairs, she followed me, things deteriorated and she started to get physically abusive, now it was frightening, she was out of control, talk about a woman scorned!
I pushed her into the dining room and pulled the door shut, I was in the hallway, I could hear her screaming and breaking things........................a window went through. I decided to call the police, but thought I'd give her a chance, I told what I was doing and told her she needed to leave right now. Things immediately went quiet. I opened the door a touch, nothing, a bit more, nothing, then just enough................ to enable the crackpot to bring a mug smashing down on my head. I pulled the door shut, it hurt, plus I was disappointed to note that it was my claret and amber 1985 Bradford City Division 3 Champions mug.
With one hand holding the door shut as she embarked on another session of screaming ab dabs, I used my other hand to reach for the phone which, fortunately was on my bookshelf in the hallway. The police arrived about 10 mins later, a PC and a WPC, the PC entered the dining room and the WPC wanted me to sit on the stairs and give a statement, she asked the woman's name, I had no idea what her name was, if she had told me I had now forgotten, suddenly all hell broke loose, we could hear the PC now screaming abuse at the woman, WTF!
The WPC came out and asked how I knew the woman and I told her the story, the screaming and abuse now turning up another notch in the dining room, the WPC said "She's his wife".
It would have been 1986 or 1987.
I brought a women home with me that I'd met in a nightclub, my wacky woman radar was twitching so nothing happened and I ordered a taxi for her. She was not happy about this, I was pleased she was gone.
Maybe a week or so later, I got call at work put though to me, it was the woman, she wanted to return the £5 taxi fare to me and for us to have a drink, I kept refusing and telling her to forget about it, but she was really persistent and with that, and needing to work, I agreed she could drop it off whenever. After putting the phone down I got worried, how the hell did she know my work number? This was pre-mobile phones and internet, she must have searched for my house and then taken the number from my works van that I had at the time, the wacky woman alarm bells were well ringing.
A few days later, early evening, there was knock at my door, stood there was a tall gorgeous looking blonde, wearing nothing but a short (very) stretch fit, black party dress and high heels. She entered and after a few pleasantries I accepted the £5, at this point, she walked past me, dropped down and started climbing the stairs on all fours, wiggling her bot as she climbed them, I quickly observed that she wasn't wearing any undies. Thus, started an internal wrangling between my brain and curiosity from below.
For once, common sense won out, my wacky women radar was now fully locked on, but what to do? I went upstairs and, as I suspected, not being that slow, she was already in my bed. I told her nothing was going to happen and I wanted her to leave, after having the same conversation several times............. she went bananas. She started hurling things at me, screaming abuse and generally going apeshit. I went downstairs, she followed me, things deteriorated and she started to get physically abusive, now it was frightening, she was out of control, talk about a woman scorned!
I pushed her into the dining room and pulled the door shut, I was in the hallway, I could hear her screaming and breaking things........................a window went through. I decided to call the police, but thought I'd give her a chance, I told what I was doing and told her she needed to leave right now. Things immediately went quiet. I opened the door a touch, nothing, a bit more, nothing, then just enough................ to enable the crackpot to bring a mug smashing down on my head. I pulled the door shut, it hurt, plus I was disappointed to note that it was my claret and amber 1985 Bradford City Division 3 Champions mug.
With one hand holding the door shut as she embarked on another session of screaming ab dabs, I used my other hand to reach for the phone which, fortunately was on my bookshelf in the hallway. The police arrived about 10 mins later, a PC and a WPC, the PC entered the dining room and the WPC wanted me to sit on the stairs and give a statement, she asked the woman's name, I had no idea what her name was, if she had told me I had now forgotten, suddenly all hell broke loose, we could hear the PC now screaming abuse at the woman, WTF!
The WPC came out and asked how I knew the woman and I told her the story, the screaming and abuse now turning up another notch in the dining room, the WPC said "She's his wife".
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petek
Über Member
- Location
- East Coast UK
On leave when single enjoyed a nice night out in company with a lass.
She was in a group of lasses I was out with mates.
I bought her a drink, half of lager and she was on those all night.
She bought me a pint back later on.
Asked her out on a date and we met the next Friday.
"What would you like?" asks I.
"Brandy and Babycham" says she.
I walked to the bar, and kept walking.
She was in a group of lasses I was out with mates.
I bought her a drink, half of lager and she was on those all night.
She bought me a pint back later on.
Asked her out on a date and we met the next Friday.
"What would you like?" asks I.
"Brandy and Babycham" says she.
I walked to the bar, and kept walking.
Globalti
Legendary Member
I once answered a personal ad from a Zimbabwean woman living in Tuscany, we spoke a bit on the phone and she sounded nice so I agreed to go out for a week. I arrived at Florence airport late at night and there was nobody there to meet me. I waited half an hour in an almost deserted arrivals hall, wondering what to do (no mobile phones in those days) then the doors flew open and a grossly obese and rather ugly (sorry) woman burst in and ran over to me. She had the worst halitosis I've ever experienced. She drove a tiny Fiat 500 and lived in a cold damp mill down a rough track in a deep valley. I really feared I was going to be murdered and chopped up; nobody knew I was there. It was an extremely awkward week; she was keen to bed me and I was keen not to bed her. We had a week of tourism and long silences and meaningful looks and I went home at the end. It was a mistake I never repeated.
Age 21, nearly 22 I went on a date with a girl, same age as me at the time but she would have passed as 5+ years older.
We were both working in the City of London at the time and as we had arrived strait from work we were both dressed in city suits
We started the evening at a local pub/restaurant,
We drove up in my car, got out, we went to the bar to confirm the reservation and order drinks.
At which point I was thrown out of the pub by the landlord for being under age!
It was over 20 years before i went back to the same pub again.
We were both working in the City of London at the time and as we had arrived strait from work we were both dressed in city suits
We started the evening at a local pub/restaurant,
We drove up in my car, got out, we went to the bar to confirm the reservation and order drinks.
At which point I was thrown out of the pub by the landlord for being under age!
It was over 20 years before i went back to the same pub again.
