Any good jokes ... ?

[glasgowcyclist]

Paintings (n): Jamaican torture implements

 

[houblon]

And a couple of favourites that aren't mine:

Substantial (adj): not a good as the Bonzos
Tentative (adj): unsure about camping

 

[Poacher]

My all-time favourite - can't remember who came up with it.

Countryside (n): the act of killing Piers Morgan

 

[houblon]

My all-time favourite - can't remember who came up with it.

Countryside (n): the act of killing Piers Morgan

Control (n): Piers Morgan, Jeffrey Archer, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Mark Chapman, Lance Armstrong...

 

[newts]

Control (n): Piers Morgan, Jeffrey Archer, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Mark Chapman, Lance Armstrong...

Controller (n): Katie Hopkins

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[slow scot]

My all-time favourite - can't remember who came up with it.

Countryside (n): the act of killing Piers Morgan

It was actually live on the show. Took about five seconds for one person to get it, then the whole place erupted.

 

[mistyoptic]

🤔

 

[Cavalol]

Marylebone's son Simon became the singer in Duran Duran.

 

[Cavalol]

I can't afford one of those pedometers, so I just keep ringing Sting up to check how many steps I've taken.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[GetFatty]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Cavalol]

Took my new girlfriend out to a restaurant last night, at the end of the evening I asked the waiter for the bill.
My girlfriend said, "Go Dutch."
I said, "Mag ik dan de rekening alstublieft?"