Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I'm so bored with my life that I've decided to read the Dictionary from start to finish.

I'm just past caring.

 

[Cavalol]

A florist just asked me if I wanted to buy her sunflowers.
I said “I don’t even know him.”

 

[bruce1530]

I'm so bored with my life that I've decided to read the Dictionary from start to finish.

I'm just past caring.

I thought I was buying a sex manual when I picked up a book called "How to Hump".
Turns out it was volume 9 of the Oxford English Dictionary.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

Lady Penelope: “Parker, what’s that song the Righteous Brothers sang?”
Parker: “Unchained m’lady”

 

[Cavalol]

Little known historical fact......Henry VIII named one of his wives based on the slow relaxed way she would enter a room.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Luddite Joe]

I thought I was buying a sex manual when I picked up a book called "How to Hump".
Turns out it was volume 9 of the Oxford English Dictionary.

At least it was bigger than volume 12.
That was next to nothing.

 

[Andy_R]

I started a really good book last night - didn't stop colouring 'til 3am...

 

[Seevio]

Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person.

I had always thought that he was only a theoretical physicist.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Domus]

How can you tell someone is vegan?

Don't worry.....................they'll tell you.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

How can you tell someone is vegan?

Don't worry.....................they'll tell you.

The other old one:

Q. What do vegans live on?


A. Attention

 

[kynikos]

Q. What's the hardest part of being a vegan?

A. Keeping it to yourself...

 

[kynikos]

My girlfriend's changed a lot since becoming a vegan

- it's like I've never seen herbivore.