Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
A women wanted to spice up her dull sex-life so she put on her new panties with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At a strategic moment, she uncrosses her legs enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Yes, darling" she coos, so excited and with a cunningly seductive smile.
"Thank God for that” he replies, “I thought you were sitting on the dog"
At a strategic moment, she uncrosses her legs enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Yes, darling" she coos, so excited and with a cunningly seductive smile.
"Thank God for that” he replies, “I thought you were sitting on the dog"
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and the neutron asks, "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
A man is driving down a deserted country road when he sees a sign that says, "Talking Dog For Sale." Intrigued, he pulls over and knocks on the door.
An old farmer answers. "I'm here about the talking dog," the man says.
"He's out back," the farmer replies, pointing to a kennel.
The man goes to the kennel and sees a scruffy looking mutt. "So, you can talk?" he asks, skeptically.
"Yep," says the dog.
The man's jaw drops. "Amazing! So, what's your story?"
"Well," the dog begins, "I've had quite a life. First, I helped the CIA decode top-secret enemy messages during the Cold War. After that, I worked for NASA, helping them with their calculations for the moon landing. Then, I spent a few years advising the President on foreign policy. But after all that, I just got tired and decided to retire here."
The man is stunned. He rushes back to the farmer. "This is incredible! Why on earth would you sell such an amazing dog?"
The farmer shrugs. "Because he's a damned liar. He never did any of that stuff!"
An old farmer answers. "I'm here about the talking dog," the man says.
"He's out back," the farmer replies, pointing to a kennel.
The man goes to the kennel and sees a scruffy looking mutt. "So, you can talk?" he asks, skeptically.
"Yep," says the dog.
The man's jaw drops. "Amazing! So, what's your story?"
"Well," the dog begins, "I've had quite a life. First, I helped the CIA decode top-secret enemy messages during the Cold War. After that, I worked for NASA, helping them with their calculations for the moon landing. Then, I spent a few years advising the President on foreign policy. But after all that, I just got tired and decided to retire here."
The man is stunned. He rushes back to the farmer. "This is incredible! Why on earth would you sell such an amazing dog?"
The farmer shrugs. "Because he's a damned liar. He never did any of that stuff!"
