TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
Just dropped my phone into some mayonnaise.
Bloody Hellman!
Bloody Hellman!
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Smokin Joe
Legendary Member
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Christianity; One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Me and my wife had sex in the plumbers' position today. We stayed in all day and nobody came.
Smokin Joe
Legendary Member
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
A group of schoolboys were shown a documentary about the adult film industry last week. After it finished half said they wanted to be porn stars and the other half said they wanted to be plumbers.
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
What's the difference between an elephant and a letterbox?
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Oh go on then......
What is the difference?
I won't be asking you to post my letters.
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
So the Pope is on a tour of the USA and he ends up meeting the guys that own McDonalds.
They say "We'll donate ten million dollars to the church if you change the words of The Lords Prayer to 'Give us this day our daily Big Mac'".
The Pope isn't interested...
They raise the offer to a hundred million dollars.
He's still not interested.
Finally they say "We'll donate a billion dollars to the church if you change the words of The Lords Prayer to 'Give us this day our daily Big Mac'".
The Pope returns to Rome and meets with his fellow cardinals...
"Anything to report from the USA your Holiness?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news..."
"What's the good news?"
"The good news is we're up one billion dollars!"
"And the bad news?"
"Well, it looks like we might have lost the Hovis account."
They say "We'll donate ten million dollars to the church if you change the words of The Lords Prayer to 'Give us this day our daily Big Mac'".
The Pope isn't interested...
They raise the offer to a hundred million dollars.
He's still not interested.
Finally they say "We'll donate a billion dollars to the church if you change the words of The Lords Prayer to 'Give us this day our daily Big Mac'".
The Pope returns to Rome and meets with his fellow cardinals...
"Anything to report from the USA your Holiness?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news..."
"What's the good news?"
"The good news is we're up one billion dollars!"
"And the bad news?"
"Well, it looks like we might have lost the Hovis account."
flake99please
We all scream for ice cream
- Location
- Edinburgh
I sat next to an insurance saleswoman at the Robbie Williams gig last night.
And through it all, she offered me protection...
And through it all, she offered me protection...
Hitchington
Lovely stuff
- Location
- That London
How do you get two whales in a car?
Drive west from Bristol.
Drive west from Bristol.
How do you get two elephants in a car?
Don't be silly, with two whales in there already there isn't room
One in the front and one in the back?
wheresthetorch
Dreaming of Celeste
- Location
- West Sussex
Send down four skin divers. Oh, hang on . . .
