Any good jokes ... ?

[EltonFrog]

Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement Julie said, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis'

You bugger! That bloody lyric has been going round in my head all sodding day.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Alexa goes into a pub. A pint of your best please. Landlord replies, we don't serve your type round here. Alexa replies - you will puny human scum.

 

[PaulB]

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

 

[Cavalol]

 

[PaulB]

View attachment 446714

You don't belong here!

 

[Cavalol]

Aibohpphobia is the fear of palindromes.

 

[Dave7]

Aibohpphobia is the fear of palindromes.

I see what you did there

 

[Cavalol]

Can never understand why blonde women dye their roots black.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[gbs]

D Trump burst into the room and announced excitedly that he had just completed a jigsaw puzzle in less than 20 minutes. To prove his genius he said "and on the box it says 3 to 5 years".

 

[Mr Celine]

Honey producers. Are they -

a) piarists
or
b) keepers?

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

Honey producers. Are they -

a) piarists
or
b) keepers?

Genius!

 

[Dave7]

Honey producers. Are they -

a) piarists
or
b) keepers?

Had to come back to that a 2nd time before the penny dropped.

 

[PaulB]