Any good jokes ... ?

[Lullabelle]

 

[morrisman]

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for getting a pure bread dog.

 

[Cavalol]

I read that taking your bike to work everyday is good for you and the environment, so I thought, why not? I'm not using that roof rack for anything else.

 

[Cavalol]

Was at a concert in Hawaii last year, celebrating the career of the woman who sang 'Boom Bang a Bang'.

I went to honour Lulu.

 

[benb]

"Urgh, this coffee tastes like mud"
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground"

 

[bruce1530]

Was at a concert in Hawaii last year, celebrating the career of the woman who sang 'Boom Bang a Bang'.

I went to honour Lulu.

This reminds me of a true story. In the early days of Radio Clyde, they announced a write in competition.

“To win the prize, just answer this question: who sang Boom Bang A Bang in the Eurovision Song Contest”.

“Send your answers on a postcard to Lulu Competition, Radio Clyde, Box 261, Glasgow”

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[PeteXXX]

Archaeologists excavating a pyramid, in Egypt, have unearthed a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts.

They believe it to be a Pharaoh Rocher...

 

[Cavalol]

There's just no pleasing my wife. One minute it's 'let's get married in a castle' next she's moaning when the kids start bouncing in it.

 

[morrisman]

From God's Twitter account

Artificial intelligence isn't a threat to humanity. Natural stupidity is.

 

[Dave7]

As I suspected.......some evil person has been adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens !!

 

[benb]

As I suspected.......some evil person has been adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens !!

Third time for this gem.

Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It's an absolute mystery as to why though.

The plot thickens...

Went to my allotment and found that there was twice as much soil as there was the week before.

The plot thickens.

 

[bruce1530]

There's just no pleasing my wife. One minute it's 'let's get married in a castle' next she's moaning when the kids start bouncing in it.

There’s just no pleasing my wife. I just mentioned that I thought black fingernails looked sexy.

Now she’s saying I shut her hand in the car door on purpose..,

 

[Dave7]

Third time for this gem.

Now......I can understand you thinking aha, I've seen that one before but how do you trawl back to find it/them ?

 

[roadrash]

use the search box, top right, under your username