Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
A dog has learned to play the trumpet on the London underground.
He's went from barking to tooting.
He's went from barking to tooting.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Nibor
Bewildered
- Location
- Accrington
Threevok
Growing old disgracefully
- Location
- South Wales
Actually, a very similar thing happened to a work colleague
Every Friday night he would pop into a local supermarket for a curry and four cans of beer.
When he went to the till, an "Age 21" message would appear and the girl on the checkout would have to call her supervisor, who would then clear the sale
Feeling flattered (after a few weeks) he asks the checkout girl "do you really think I am under 21?" to which she replied "No, I am underage to sell you the beer, so my supervisor has to clear it"
He was so gutted
The Crofted Crest
Veteran
Last year I was asked for proof of age to buy a six-pack. I was 58. Oh, joy!
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Just after contactless payments came in, I was up in a shop somewhere near Elgin. When the checkout operator announced the total, I airily waved my card near the reader. Nothing happened, so I tapped the card against the screen. Nothing happened. She said the total due again, slightly exasperated and I pressed the card firmly against the reader, waiting for the beep.
She looked at me as she would a small child and said, slowly and deliberately -
"You put the card in the slot"
I could feel the heat coming off my cheeks as I exited.
She looked at me as she would a small child and said, slowly and deliberately -
"You put the card in the slot"
I could feel the heat coming off my cheeks as I exited.
betty swollocks
large member
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
The barmaid asked the lads before me in the queue at pub for proof of age, saying it was company policy. Being a smart arse, when she'd served me I asked if she needed my proof of age. Without flinching she said "aye, have you got your bus pass on you?" I know it was at my expense, but it's funny all the same.
On a related note, a crowd of 10 lads from London were in one of our local pubs, and trying to be jack the lads by ordering 9 pints, and then claiming she'd only pulled 8 to get a free one. They did this in several ways for a few rounds before one of the locals pointed it out to the barmaid. She just shrugged and said "I know. It's why I've been charging them for 12 each time". Jack the lads left none the wiser, presumably feeling smug at 'conning' the barmaid.
A penguin walks into a pub and asks the barman, "Has my brother been in" and the barman says, "I don't know, what does the look like?" I had to explain that to one of my staff at work!I have seen this before and actually had to explain it to someone
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
morrisman
Guru
Rachel says, "Hi Jimmy, I'd like to introduce you to my fiancee who's also named Rachel. I've told her all about you and we'd love you to make our wedding cake."
Jimmy answers, "I'm not comfortable doing that."
Rachel replies, "Is it because we are lesbians?"
Jimmy said, "No I don't care that you're lesbians, but my mum always used to warn me about inter-Rachel marriages."
Jimmy answers, "I'm not comfortable doing that."
Rachel replies, "Is it because we are lesbians?"
Jimmy said, "No I don't care that you're lesbians, but my mum always used to warn me about inter-Rachel marriages."
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
