Any good jokes ... ?

[Chris S]

What's the fastest pastry?
Scone.

 

[Mugshot]

View attachment 474008

Along a similar line, one I saw the other day;

 

[SpokeyDokey]

What's the fastest pastry?
Scone.

Does that one only work north of Watford?

 

[SpokeyDokey]

A man walks into a zoo.

The only exhibit is a dog.

It's a shih tzu.

 

[Oldbloke]

Along a similar line, one I saw the other day;

View attachment 474021

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Levo-Lon]

Guy from Manchester just offerd me 300 for my Marin.. Said he'll pick up tonight!!
Well it made me laugh

 

[alicat]

^^^^ nope, that went over my head like Aer Lingus.

 

[Houthakker]

I was once asked at an interview what I thought my biggst weakness was.
After a short thought I replied "My honesty"
The interviewer said he didn't think honesty was a weakness, so I told him I didn't give a fark what he thought!

 

[CharlesF]

A DPD driver just asked me the time.

I told him its between 8 and 12

 

[Mr Celine]

I accidentally swallowed a lipstick and some mascara and now I'm constipated.




You can't sh*t this make up.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

What do you call a subtle Norse god?

Low-key.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

A Roman walks into a bar and sticks two fingers up to the barman.

The barman says "Why did you do that?".

The Roman replies "I'd like a beer for myself and my four friends".

 

[alicat]

^^^^ Groan!

 

[Cavalol]

I went to the doctor because I was depressed over my crossword obsession.

He told me not to get 2 down.