Any good jokes ... ?

[SpokeyDokey]

^^^^ Groan!

To be fair it's only 8, 40 two fingers.

Just warming up!

 

[Oldbloke]

I went to the doctor because I was depressed over my crossword obsession.

He told me not to get 2 down.

I went to the doctor's & told him about my obsession with curtains.

Told me to pull myself together.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

There's nothing worse than having a Cranberries song stuck in your heeeeeeead, in your heeeeeead.

 

[Chris S]

Here's an old joke for the techies.
COBOL brought out an updated version when C++ came out. It was called Add One To COBOL.

 

[Chris S]

Guy from Manchester just offerd me 300 for my Marin.. Said he'll pick up tonight!!
Well it made me laugh

I still can't work it out

 

[betty swollocks]

You see some weird things as a policeman.
I once saw two African warriors ballroom dancing on the roof of a 1980s saloon car. I radioed it in to HQ -
"Zulu foxtrot sierra... "

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Here's an old joke for the techies.
COBOL brought out an updated version when C++ came out. It was called Add One To COBOL.

I still can't work it out

I can't work yours out

 

[Domus]

What's your biggest weakness?

I sometimes have difficulty telling fantasy from reality.

What's your biggest strength?

I'm Batman !!!!!!!

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Profpointy]

Here's an old joke for the techies.
COBOL brought out an updated version when C++ came out. It was called Add One To COBOL.

That is very good but amazingly I'd not heard it before.

Is COBOL still a thing these days ?

 

[Cavalol]

I still can't work it out

That has to be related to Gumtree.

 

[Chris S]

I can't work yours out

The 'C' programming language had a ++ operator that incremented a value.
When an enhanced version of 'C' was developed it was named C++.
COBOL is a very old verbose programming language. If you wanted to increment a value then you had to type 'ADD ONE TO'.
So an enhanced version of COBOL could be known as ADD ONE TO COBOL.

 

[Chris S]

That is very good but amazingly I'd not heard it before.

Is COBOL still a thing these days ?

One of my friends has been a COBOL programmer since the 1980s. He's in his early 60s now and is hoping there's enough legacy code out there to keep him employed until he retires. Admittedly, he's had to move to Germany and then Manchester for his last two jobs.

 

[Chris S]

That has to be related to Gumtree.

I'm still confused - is it a play on 300 or Marin?